Double Or Nothing (Sequel To Double Standards Part 2)

How To Love

Cole

Not having Miri in my life was slowly killing me. Yes I know I overreacted but I always have when it came to her. I wish she would just give me the time to explain and beg for forgiveness and I know no amount of explaining can defend why I crawled in bed with some random chic. If it helped any I would tell her that I didn't enjoy it and I constantly saw her in my mind. As for the loss of the baby it hurts me to. I wish she would have shared the news with me but yet again I'm to blame. Somehow she assumed by me saying I wasn't ready for kids meant I didn't want them at all. I wish she could see how deeply I love her. I would have stuck by her side no matter what. She could do no wrong in my eye's.

When she showed up tonight at that club my mind went haywire, scared she would come to harm. And when that bastard placed his hands on her it took every ounce of self control I had, which isn't much not to scatter his brain's right there. Then on the ride home after she basically tried to kill me yet again she amazes me by taking my hand giving me a flicker of hope. If only I could get her away from her Pape long enough to talk to her but she stays by his side. London had already had it with us for the day but I was going to man up and speak to him about this issue. Knocking on his office door at the den I let my self on in. I could see the strain on his face as I entered. Not even two hours ago he chewed me and Miri out together for our behavior and antics she pulled at the club.

"What is it now Cole?" He asked irritated.

I didn't speak trying to figure our what to say.

"Well spit it out". He insisted.

"Fine. I want to speak to Miri privately but she's always with you. If I come near her she has you put a stop to it".

"Well Cole her not speaking to you is your own fault and I just abide by her wishes".

"It's not fair. How can I have a chance to redeem myself if I can't get near her. What if someone stopped you from talking to your wife?"

London gave me a hard stare. "I'd simply kill them".

"Hmmm..." is all I said.

"You little shit. Okay, I see what your saying Cole. Tell you what, tomorrow morning babydoll wants me to join in a meeting for her resort. She's having issues with a sale so she wants me to set in and handle it. Afterwards she's scheduled a couples massage for us, whatever the fuck that is. Then we have a date night. So we'll be out of the house the majority of the day. Come by and see her then."

"Thank you boss".

"Whatever. But do not do anything to hurt my daughter and if she's wishes not to see you afterwards you leave her alone. I will not force my daughter into anything she doesn't want. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes boss".

I left the office feeling hopeful and anticipating the next day. I woke early and went and bought a dozen roses, her favorite candies, and a unusually beautiful ring. It was white gold and had a gorgeous blue stone surrounded by a green stone. It reminded me of us. Her blue eye's paired with my green eye's.

London texted me letting me know they was gone. I walked in the apartment without a hitch. Miri was standing in the kitchen elbow deep in a cereal box picking out the marshmallows. She turned when she heard me and I immediately fell to my knees holding the flowers out to her and showing her I wasn't here to fight.

Slowly she inched over and took the flowers. "Why are you here?"

"Please Mirimosa Alexandrea let me just talk to you. Allow me to apologize. That's all I'm asking"

Taking the candies I got her she nodded to the kitchen table. Taking a seat across from her I begin. "I know there's nothing I can say to justify anything I done. Nothing I can say to get your forgiveness, but for what it's worth I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I hurt myself by hurting you. I wish you would have came to me about the pregnancy but I understand why you thought I wouldn't want it. That's so far from the truth, I would have loved our child as much as I love you" stopping to sort through my emotions I spoke again fighting the lump in my throat over this touchy subject.

"I can't imagine the pain you feel from losing our baby but I want you to know your not alone. I hurt to over it  and if you decided you wanted a child right this instant I'd gladly do my damnest to make that possible".

Miri looked down and I could tell she was trying not to cry. "It's okay baby girl. If you want to cry I'll cry with you".

She finally spoke. "There's been so much bad between us Cole. More bad than good. And out of everything I can't get the image of you with someone else out of my head".

"Baby girl she meant nothing. And I hate myself for that as well. Probably more than you hate me. No one compares to you in any form. When I sleep with you I'm just not sleeping with you, my hearts sleeping with you, my mind, my very existence is absorbed in you. I've never had that with anyone but you".

Miri rose and walked to the counter. I knew she was crying and it killed me. Standing up I walked behind her and gently turned her around. When I saw the hurt on her face and the tears on her cheek I came undone. Taking a ragged breath i placed my hands on her face looking at her through my own tears I said. "I'd do anything to take  it back. I wish you could see you through my eye's. I'm wrapped around your finger. I know I don't deserve you but I swear if you gave me another chance I'd be everything you ever wanted".

Miri sobbed out "You already are everything I ever wanted, I just don't know if I can overcome that you cheated. I'll always wonder if you'd do it again and I don't want a relationship without trust".

"Do you still love me Mirimosa?"

"You know I do".

"Then give me another chance I'm begging you? I promise I can make you forget all the bad. I'll feed you brownie sundaes everyday, pick the marshmallows out of the cereal box for you, paint your toenails, shine your knife. Whatever you want you will have. Please. I'll never be able to love anyone but you".

Miri stood crying and I pulled the ring from my pocket and opened the lid. She gasped through her tears. "It's beautiful Cole. It's our eye's melded together".

"That's why I bought it."

I removed the ring and placed it on her hand. She stood there crying and I wanted to pull her into my arms so bad but didn't want to make a wrong move right now. Then to my delight she threw her arms around my neck and I pulled her even closer burrying my face into her neck whispering sweet words of love and promises. "I love you more than you'll ever know baby girl. Without you I'm not me".

"I love you to Cole and just please never hurt me again".

"Oh baby girl your breaking my heart. I will make sure you never know hurt again".

Slowly we made our way to each other's lips and shared the most sensual loving kiss ever. My world was complete and a sudden image of Miri in a wedding gown popped into my head. I wanted her to be mrs. Butoni, my wife.