Double Or Nothing (Sequel To Double Standards Part 2)

Set This Circus Down

Miri

Lip syncing to my iPod I was gazing in the mirror adjusting a few fly away hairs. My plan was to get out and sneak a visit to my Olive. I couldn't wait until his release. Fighting my hair I became frustrated, I always wanted to look good for him.

Giving up I gathered my bag of goodies I picked out for Cole and exited my room. As I came down the hall I stopped in my tracks. I could hear my Pape's voice talking to someone, probably Conner, and by the sounds of it he was smashed. My poor Pape, every since mom left he's become somewhat of a hollow shell. He's here but empty inside. I watch him wonder around the apartment souless, picking up pictures of them to gaze at. He walked over to me the other night showing me a older picture of my mom. "This has always been my favorite picture of your mother. I took it in our first few months as a couple".

Looking at the picture, they was setting on a park bench and mom's nose was crinkled up. "She was trying to convince me she could wiggle her nose".

I detected the sadness in his voice and hugged him. "She'll come home Pape, I just know she will".

"I hope your right babydoll". He said placing a kiss atop my head.

Yes, I knew Pape had been harsh with mom recently. Living here in these close quarters it was hard not to notice. The arguing, the time he hit her. Then it was like mom changed over night. She fell silent, almost comatose. Anyone that new her knows she's always got something to say, yet she became this subdued person, a sleep walker.

I know Dem wonders if Pape did something to mom, but I try not to think that way. My Pape adores my mom even through their ups and downs. Pape would never harm her, any of us for that matter. But why would my mom leave like this and can't be found? I wrestled with that question everyday.

In my mind I know this is all my fault. If I hadn't persuaded Pape to let me attend college far off I'd never met Eli. I signal handily brought ruin to the family. I was the reason our home was torched, we was captured, Cole was put away, and my parent's problems. I live with this guilt everyday. My Demons are relentless.

I'm a walking natural disaster, designed to cause destruction to anyone or anything close to me. I'm not good for anyone. Hearing my Pape's anguished sobs brought me from my thoughts. Never had I saw this man shed a tear, loose his composure, portray weakness of any kind. My Pape was a man in every sense of the word.  Stepping silently closer I spied Dem and Samantha coming through the entrance but he also froze at seeing Pape like this. But what happened next flipped our world upside down.

"I put her in chains Conner, my babydoll. I made her worse fear come true. I hurt her, now she's gone."

I watched as my brothers calm stature diminished but surprising myself I stormed up to my Pape with tears streaming down my face. "How could you Pape?" I screamed.

"Why did you do that? My mom is gone because of you. You and your stupid rules has destroyed our family. If anything happens to my mom so help me God you'll pay. I heard you hit my mom a few weeks ago but I chose to stay out of it. As she was on the floor crying you stood over her like the monster everyone claims you to be. Now I see it".

Before I could say more Dem rushed over getting in Pape's face. "The fuck you done to my mom? Did you put your hands on my Madre? Answer me you Son of a bitch?"

Conner tried to wedge himself in between Demarco and Pape. "Answer me" Dem yelled.

"This doesn't concern you Demarco, either of you".

"The fuck it don't. I swear if you've killed my Madre your a dead man walking. I'll personally see you take your last breath".

"Son do you realize who your speaking to?"