Tunnel Vision » Ziam AU «

Chapter Thirteen

Zayn rapidly chews the wad of gum in his mouth as he sits in the uncomfortable plastic chair. There's a door and a long hallway between himself and the entrance to the stage, but even from here he can hear Harry's voice mixing with Louis', and Niall's guitar and Josh's drums. Can hear the thousands of fans screaming and singing along to them, and it eases some of the nerves.

It's just that - it's the first show of the tour. It's not the first time he's playing most of these songs for a crowd, but still. The first show and the last show are always the hardest. What if his fans suddenly change their minds? What if they hate it? What if Zayn's voice has finally taken too much damage from all those cigarettes that everyone says will ruin it and he can't sing?

There's so many possible things that can could wrong with live shows, and each one of them flits through his mind, one after another. He can't keep sitting here, he realizes. He needs to go outside and have another cigarette, even if it's going to ruin his voice. He doesn't care.

As soon as he steps out the door, his stage manager is there, headpiece in her ear. "Where are you going?" she asks.

"Cigarette," Zayn mumbles.

"Get Liam," she orders. "He's by the stage, watching the show. I just passed him."

Zayn is still adjusting to the fact that Liam's here. They'd left earlier this morning, Zayn piling his bags into the compartment of the bus, Louis, Harry, Niall and Josh doing the same in their own. They got their own bus, his security team shared their own bus, and Zayn had his own. An entire bus, all to himself. And while he was watching the driver load up his bags (while trying to offer to help, though no one ever actually lets him) he watched Liam get out of a cab.

No one would tell him if Liam agreed or not. Every time he'd spoken to Liam the last two weeks, he'd just said he was still thinking about it, or he refused to answer. And he'd called El to ask her, too, but she said that it wasn't her place to talk about Liam's contract with him (which is so dumb because he's technically Liam's boss, isn't he?).

He still isn't sure how he feels about it. How he feels about knowing Liam will be there every time he turns. While that fact usually makes him feel safer, recently it's made him anxious, too, and he can't quite explain it. Again, he thinks back to that day in the rain when Liam had grabbed his wrist, and then he thinks to the night of the charity event when Liam had held his hand in the car, and also waking up to find Liam singing and dancing in his tiny little apartment, and he knows that something's there. Something that weighs heavily between them, important even if Zayn refuses to acknowledge it.

The music from the stage gets louder the farther down the hall he goes, and then he's pushing open the door to the room just beside the stage. There are other people here, ones that are bustling around, probably frantically making sure the lights and equipment are working. None of them pay him any mind as he heads to the one lone figure watching the show on stage.

"Hey," Zayn says loudly, voice raised to be heard over Harry's cooing on stage. He looks out, watching as his best friend does some pretty inappropriate things with his microphone. Zayn is going to have to have another chat with him about the fact that the majority of their fan base is under the age of eighteen.