falsettos oneshots

one minute

*marvins pov*

whizzer is dead. why am i not crying? how am i not a mess? not even the funeral made me cry. my days have been going on normal, or as normal as they can get without whizzer giving me a good morning kiss or making me breakfast. i miss his linguini.

i wake up.
i make breakfast.
i shower.
i get my lunch.
i go to work.
i try to move on.
i eat my lunch.
i come home.
i watch a movie.
i try to forget about him.
i look at a photo of us.
i go to bed.

its the same boring schedule. nothing significantly different. i guess im moving on. it feels different. its only been a few weeks since the funeral. trina and mendel visit sometimes, and delia and charlotte are over at least once a week. jason still comes over on weekends. theyre all still in pain. im moving on. thats that.

even if i dont take his clothes out of the closet yet.

its not that i dont want to, its because im so busy. ive sifted through every photo, letter, stuffed animal, email, memory of whizzer. nothing seems to bother me. its numbing, and bittersweet. i visit his grave at least once a week, and leave his favorite flowers and i give him an update on mine and everyone elses lives.

the doorbell rings. its jason.

"oh, hey jason. its not the weekend yet.. is everything alright?"

"oh, yeah, dad everythings fine! i just.. have a, uh, package to deliver to you." he sounds slightly solemn.

"ok, well, come in! do you want me to open the package with you-"

"its from whizzer." he cuts me off and my heart drops. "he told me to give you this when he thought you were ready, and i think now is the time. now, mom knows about the package too, and she just wanted me to deliver it and then leave you to open it." he starts to leave and i say an awkward goodbye to him.

time to open the package. from whizzer. the package from whizzer. its a video tape, labeled "FOR MARVIN". interesting. i pop it in and see his face all pale. he must have taken this video in the hospital when visiting hours was over.

"hello, marv. its me, whizzer, clearly. so as you can tell, i am currently...
on my deathbed. its been a scary few months, and i decided to make this for you when i, um, die. it has my beautiful face and my lovely voice, so its always remembered!
"anywho, i wanted to tell you something: i love you. i know, its already said so many times in our lives, especially now. i just wanted to say it again. i know youve moved on, and if you havent yet then jason clearly didnt follow his orders.
"i wish i could make linguini for you again. i want to go dancing with you again. i wish i could kiss you, and spend another night in the apartment. its been a wild ride with you, marv. i still remember our first date. we went out to a diner, and fought on who should pay. i still remember you giving me your horrid jacket when it got cold outside. i think i still have it, somewhere.
"i want you to be strong, marv. not just for me, or trina, or jason, but for yourself. i dont want you to be a wreck and turned away from love the rest of your life. i want you to move on, but please dont forget about me too, ok?
"i dont want to be... forgotten. dont forget the nights at the bar. the night walks in the park. stargazing and laying on top of your car and falling asleep on top of it on accident like were teenagers again. the ice cream dates, youd get chocolate and id get vanilla. watching scary movies and id jump every time something scary happened. our goodmorning and goodnight kisses. linguini nights. baseball games. racquetball games. chess games. our weekends with jason. dont forget about any of it.
"i love you, marvin. and i will never forget you."

it takes me a minute to realize that i had sobbed through that. it was body shaking, echoing off the walls and into other neighbors apartment. it takes me a minute to realize why whizzer wanted to wait to give me this. it takes me a minute to remember where the jacket is now after our first date. but, it takes less than a second to realize this:

i will never forget you, whizzer brown.