that is wild patrick! ; misc.

xiii. gone fishing

i haven't been very active on here, both in reading and updating/writing. i apologize for that, as i never formally stated why i just disappeared or what was going on, so this is the chapter dedicated to my official leave of absence

i've been really stressed lately, with having a million projects to do for school (how fun), and having finals in a few weeks. this has, naturally, caused my anxiety and depression to kick into overdrive

not to mention, i've lost a lot of internet friends in the past few days, or it has been too hard for me to talk to them, or something or other that has caused them to not talk to me/dislike/hate me. it isn't surprising, as people tend to hate me or not want to associate with me after getting to know me better. i'm not a good friend to have, i suppose

either way, i have a lot on my plate, and i'm kind of taking a step back from social media and have been watching my favorite tv shows when i'm not watching youtube videos or rushing to finish a project for school

i haven't really had much inspiration or motivation to write anything either, let alone the time. i've had a million different things in the works for so long, and they're honestly just rotting away, which is exactly the opposite of everything i wanted to happen. in fact, that's kind of the whole purpose of "all shook up" - give my one-shots and drabbles an eternal resting place so that they were not wasting away. i get sad, looking through unfinished project after unfinished project, just sitting there, collecting dust, spiders beginning to make them a temporary or permanent home. oh well, i suppose i'll finish them someday. at least, hopefully i will

and don't worry, i won't be gone permanently, just for a little while, at least until school ends and summer begins. over the summer, i should be a lot less busy, as my family doesn't often travel anywhere or go do many things (both generally and over summer), so hopefully i'll be able to start writing again, and my versions of dean and castiel (who take up 99.9% of my writings) will be back from their own vacation. which, let's be honest, they needed

the purpose of this chapter was to explain why i have been a lot less active and why i will continue to be, for a little while. i'll try to recycle a few old one-shots or short stories or drabbles or somethings to give you something to read while i'm away and working on, debatably, bigger and better things

again, i won't be completely gone, i'll still check in, drop off some recycling, and maybe do a bit of reading, which is another thing that i haven't been able to do much of lately

i offer my sincerest apologies, as i know this is sudden and uncalled for, but i promise you one day, either in a few days or a few weeks. i wouldn't leave, not any time soon. don't worry

i hope you all have good days, and if you didn't i will always offer endless amounts of love and support, it's pretty much the only thing i'm good at

if any of you are stressing like me, or just sad, lonely, or going through something, don't forget to;
- stay hydrated, even if it's just one water bottle, you need water
- sleep well, take a nap if you need to, it's okay
- eat, i promise one sandwich or granola bar will not make you fat, and no, it is not better if you don't eat
- please take care of yourself, love your body, or at least care for it, it is the only one you have

my metaphorical door is always open, feel free to stop in if you need anything. the best place to reach me is my twitter (which is just @/blushingdestiel - how original, right?), but you can always pm me on here. twitter is just better about notifications, and i'm *usually* more active on there

until further notice i am gone fishing. let's hope i catch something other than anxiety and depression

i'll see you all soon, and never forget, you matter

yours,
blushingdestiel