zap! ; joshler

dandelion

to joshua, it was a matter of popularity more than anything. he had a reputation to maintain, and he would do anything to keep his status. even if it meant picking on the oblivious boy that he knew didn't deserve the constant pestering.

he hated his friends for what they did, but he wouldn't dare tell them that. he would become the target for their harsh words, he was sure of it. so he kept his mouth shut and followed their lead like a lost puppy. he may have been the most popular in the group but he sure as hell didn't call the shots. he left that to his best friend, brendon.

so that's how he found himself in his current position, sitting down next to brendon as they situated themselves at the only table in the lunch room that was seating only one person. the small brunette peered up at the two popular boys with his large doe eyes, perking up a bit at the sight of some company.

"hey, fairy boy," brendon sniggered, the derogatory term completely going over tyler's head as he took it as a compliment.

"o-oh, h-h-hello," tyler chirped, setting his sandwich down in its container. joshua didn't know much about the boy, other than all of the rumors people spread, but he didn't know if any of those were true. according to brendon, tyler was the only openly gay person in their grade, which automatically made him different than everyone else. joshua didn't think there was anything wrong with being gay, but everyone he knew thought otherwise so he kept his mouth shut, something he found himself doing more likely than not.

he tuned out the rest of the conversation, knowing it would just upset him if he had to listen to brendon making fun of the undeserving boy who didn't even know he was being picked on. joshua focused on anything but the words his friend spoke, deciding to observe tyler's facial features instead. he had fluffy golden hair piled on top of his head, sun kissed skin dotted with freckles on his naturally pink cheeks. his eyes were wide and resembled those of a baby animal. what stood out the most to joshua was his lips. his perfectly plump lips that moved so fluidly as he spoke, a glimpse of his braces showing every few words. he was a pretty boy, and the thought scared joshua.

he peeled his eyes away from the younger boy and glued his gaze to his own fingers, trying to get the thoughts of tyler out of his head by thinking about girls, and boobs, and the wonderful thing called porn that he had recently discovered. it worked, and soon he forgot that tyler was even sitting across from him. he reminded himself of debby, the girl he had been wanting to ask out since the beginning of seventh grade. she had the most beautiful smile and the kindest eyes, something joshua had noticed the first time he lay his eyes on her.

"josh, don't you agree?" brendon elbowed joshua, causing the curly haired boy to look up, trying to recall what brendon had said.

"yeah, totally," joshua said, not sure what he was agreeing to. he immediately regretted it when tyler's lower lip began to wobble, eyes becoming glassy as tears welled up and threatened to spill down his pink cheeks.

"m-my m-m-mom sa-says i-it's o-o-okay to-to l-like b-b-boys if-if y-y-you're al-also a-a b-boy," tyler hiccuped, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater as he sniffled. joshua felt his heart break, even though this was something he had witnessed one too many times. it never got any less upsetting, no matter how many times it happened. he wished he could stand up for the boy, tell brendon to fuck off, but his mouth stayed shut as he watched tyler sob silently to himself.

"my work here is done," brendon sighed as he stood, pulling joshua up with him. they turned and walked back to to their friend group, but not before joshua looked at tyler once more, his eyes meeting that of those entrancing doe eyes that the petite boy possessed. they were begging for mercy, for help, and it killed joshua to know he was too weak to do anything about it. so he sent tyler a closed-lipped grin and sat at his own table, slipping back into his confident persona.