zap! ; joshler

hydrangea

joshua's palms were sweaty as he struggled to build up the courage to ask debby on a date, going over in his mind what he had practiced in front of the mirror that morning. she was sitting one table over from josh and his friend group, at the table that was unofficially pinned as the table for the popular girls, much like josh's was for the popular boys.

she was laughing at something her friend had said, radiant smile and jubilant laugh making him even more nervous than before, because she was just so beautiful.

"dude, just ask her out already," brendon spoke through a mouthful of food. "you just gotta do it, no hesitation."

"what if she says no? and she's with all her friends, it would be so embarrassing," josh groaned, hoping brendon could offer him some advice.

"take the risk! i wouldn't be dating sarah if i didn't grow a pair and just ask her. c'mon, it's not that difficult," brendon pushed, joshua no longer listening as he had decided he couldn't do it.

"actually, i'll just do it another day, she looks busy right now," joshua chuckled awkwardly, awaiting the inevitable pestering he was sure he would be receiving.

"pussy," brendon mumbled, turning back towards the rest of their friends, joshua doing the same. "what did i miss?"

"we're playing zap!," alex informed, wiggling his sharpie in the air for brendon and joshua to see.

"can i choose next?" brendon quickly asked, a smug grin playing at his lips and joshua could only imagine what was going on in his head.

"i don't see why not," alex shrugged and passed the writing utensil to the raven haired boy. brendon immediately uncapped it and grabbed joshua's left hand, scribbling a name on the back of it without having to think about who he was going to write.

panic bubbled up in joshua's chest, threatening to spill out and spread from his beating heart to his shaking hands. he knew that brendon wrote debby, he was sure of it, and he couldn't decide whether he wanted to look or not.

"you wrote debby's name, didn't you," joshua sighed, sitting on his left hand so he wouldn't accidentally look at it.

"ding ding ding! i went easy on you and just gave you an hour, shouldn't be too hard."

joshua nodded, trying to sort out his thoughts that were messily scattered together, hoping to find some sort of answer to the stressful debacle he was going through. it was a good excuse to finally ask debby out, giving him that extra push he needed to be able to approach his crush. the pros seemed to outweigh the cons, but he still found himself indecisive once the bell signaling the end of lunch sounded, letting him know he had fourty five minutes to make up his mind.

joshua took his seat in the back of the classroom, watching as his science class filed in from the busy hall. brendon sat down next to him and josh knew that his friend would be watching him like a hawk all period so he couldn't even try to sneak a glance at the back of his hand.

"dude, just look if it's bothering you that much," brendon said with a roll of his eyes, referring the way joshua's leg bounced up and down, a physical sign he was nervous. having been friends with joshua for so long, brendon could read him like a book. he knew what made joshua tick and the signs of how he was feeling, but he didn't know his friend as well as he thought he did. he didn't know that joshua hated the way brendon treated others, or that he occasionally wished he had a different friend group. that was the side of joshua that he kept hidden behind that mask of popularity, tucking it away to never be revisited again in hopes of fitting in and being accepted.

joshua looked at brendon for reassurance, silently asking if he really should look, his friend mouthing an excited 'yes!' as the lesson started, forcing them to communicate using non-verbal gestures only.

the curly haired boy took one deep breath before quickly flipping his hand over, trying to read the illegible scribbling that definitely was not debby's name. he felt a lump form in his throat as he turned to brendon with furrowed eyebrows, asking for some sort of help with trying to figure out what was written. brendon leaned forward, cupping his hands around joshua's ear as he held back his laughter when he spoke.

"tyler joseph." the dark haired boy covered his mouth to conceal the snickers that he was so close to releasing, joshua not finding the situation amusing in any way, shape, or form.

"you fucking liar," josh snapped, no longer caring about their teacher who was speaking at the front of the room. he was beyond upset, not able to figure out what emotion he was feeling. not only was it not debby who had been written on his hand, but it was the boy who didn't deserve any more negative attention. joshua already felt horrible for him, this situation not making it any better.

"oh god, you should've seen your face," brendon wheezed, trying so very hard to contain his laughter. "i wish i had gotten that on video, it was priceless!"

joshua didn't say anything else after that, giving his full attention to the lesson being taught and ignoring brendon's constant annoyance that was inescapable. he didn't want to ask tyler out, for more than one reason. the biggest reason was that he was straight, brendon obviously using that so he could break tyler's heart. he also didn't want to play the boy like that, because although his friends were assholes he tried his hardest to be the best person he could be.

he really, really didn't want to ask tyler out. but he knew there was no way brendon was going to let him off that easily.

•••

to clear up any confusion or anything they're in eighth grade (13-14 for non-american readers) in this fic :))
-carina