Smart. (A Marcel / Harry Styles FanFiction)

Candlelight Kisses

<<Char's POV>>

I feel the panic rising up in me, and my breath quickens without my consent. It's been years since I had, well, since I freaked out about my irrational fear of the dark. I can't really explain it, but if I try, darkness reminds me of being unprotected, alone, and having no knowledge of what will happen to me. Essentially, I fear the dark because possibly, those intangible things that I fear most are so well embodied by darkness.   It's hard to distinguish between the fears.

Also, possibly the drinks I had I don't know, maybe, just maybe, made the situation a bit worse--okay a lot worse. My reasoning and rationality I usually have right at the tip of my fingers, had disappeared. Maybe that's why it takes me so long to realize something else was, quite literally at the tip of my fingers. Well, more like tensed up in my arms, but apparently my arms forgot to inform my brain that they were going to grasp a tall boy and not let go.

"Char, erm, you don't have to hold me here. I'll stay if you want." Harry manages, and I loosen my grip quite a bit but still keep a hand on his arm, because it is pitch black. Not a bit of light sneaks in from anywhere, and I can't see a thing. Harry lets out what sounds like a relieved sigh, and I feel heat creep to my face, and maybe, just maybe I'm a little more appreciative of the darkness than frightened of it. My previous little burst of confidence fueled by intoxication and the undeniable fact Harry is extremely attractive was gone, but the feeling in my stomach that made me want to him close to me did not leave.

"Sorry and thanks. A lot." That response comes about 20 seconds too late. I can feel the awkward like static electricity.  Or something itchy and prickly.

"Okay. Well, since you don't want me to leave you-I mean I don't mind at all, don't worry, but I can't exactly like, fix the problem. Not sure if I could anyway, but we'll need some light without me going outside to check the circuit breaker, so walk with me down to the basement?"

"Basement." I take it back, the dark is not okay. Neither are basements. I'm starting to doubt Harry's sanity, "Basements are dark." I hear him let out a chuckle, and I can almost hear him smiling. "Harry, shut up! Stop laughing at me!" I cringe at the whininess of my voice, but I can't help it. He's not making sense, and he's the only other freaking person in his stupid house of darkness, and we're alone, and no one knows where I am besides him, and I have to trust his stupid arse, and I can't even see him. I try and slow my thoughts with a deep breath, but it shakes on the way out, and just reminds me I'm scared. Of the dark.

"Hey, I'm sorry alright? Char?" I feel Harry's arm move away from me and I freeze up a bit, but then his warm presence is engulfing me, and my head is on his chest, and he's holding me. If I close my eyes, I can almost forget the situation. "Are you okay?" Harry murmurs into my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine. I nod, somewhat stupidly, because obviously he can't see.

"Yeah." I manage, my eyes still squeezed tightly shut.

"Will you walk down with me to the basement? I promise I'll be right there, I won't even let go of you if it, you know, helps." I sense a bit of nervousness in his voice, and I wish I could see his face to better read what he was feeling. I doubt I'd make much sense of it anyway. I used to be so good at telling exactly what he felt, or wanted. Now I am just lost, even when my brain doesn't feel like it's surrounded by honey.

"If you don't let go, yes." True to his word, Harry just shifts, and entwines my hands with his. My hands feel tiny in his, but it's somewhat comforting. I lean into him, my heart's racing slowing down slightly at his presence.

***

"Fuck, ow!"

"Harry, what was that?" I hiss, my voice at a whisper for some reason.