Zane X Travis X Reader

Story time....

Recently I have been going through some things.. so some of you may not know but I have depression and anxiety. I never have motivation anymore. The one thing I only have it for sometimes is to right. I like to make you guys happy!

But recently, I found out what my sister has been saying about me. She said that she's embarrassed to be around me because I'm so overweight and that my outfits are from different fandoms, anime, Pokemon, etc..

There's nothing better than to hear that from your own sister right? Well I know I'm overweight, I think about it everyday. All of my friends are skinny and then there's me. I probably would be skinny by now if I had the motivation for it. I always feel physically drained, not able to do anything.

Heck, I can't even look at myself in the mirror without hating how I look. I'm annoying I know, my sister points that out. When I was around five she told me that when I was born our mother and father got into fights and that I caused it.

Our parents are now divorced, and I feel it actually is my fault. But, to explain how I got this way, I'll right it in story version so I don't give the person away..

*My p.o.v.*

It was a school day. I was always a happy little girl, trying her best to make everyone happy. I had no friends up until this grade. I was always too shy to make friends, still am..

But there was a kid in my class, he was my favorite. I even had a crush on him. It was the first time I felt this way. I thought I had a chance... but I didn't.

The person rejected me, many, many times. I became sad, I tried to hold on, but we ended up becoming friends. Only friends.. it was a holiday too, which made it ten times worse.

That day, I cried, cried so hard that my body hurt. I didn't talk to the person for two weeks after that. It hurt too much.

And when they dated another girl, I was at the point to where I was close to bawling at school everyday. I started to dig my nails into my arms to ease the pain.. helping slightly.

I became depressed, ignoring everyone around me. When school got out that summer, right when I got home in the last day of school.. I cut...

It wasn't enough to bleed but it broke the skin. My hands shook, I felt weak. It then continued all summer long. Almost everyday I cut. And by September, I had cut about twenty times. I lost a friend for it for awhile..

And recently, that September, I tried to commit suicide. I tried to overdose on Tylenol, and ended up with seventy total cuts. I ended up not being at school for a few days, I didn't die.

I felt terrible that week. No one knew at school nor cared. Everyone just carried on. I wanted to scream, to cry, everything. But I bottled it up. I even cut myself at school in class with a pencil, not enough to bleed though, and no one noticed.

I had nightmares for months that'd I wake up crying and sweating to. Now I just bottle everything up. I ignore my own feelings.

But when something major happens, I break down and bawl. That choked up feeling filling my throughly and chest, making me bawl harder. It hurts, it does.

All of this, from one person. After that first rejection, I was rejected ten more times. He never realized it was him who caused it.

I turned to stories to help make other people happy so they don't become me. I love you guys. When I see I have notifications it brightens up my day, it makes me feel important for a short while. Like I actually have a purpose.

So thank you all for reading my story, it means a lot to me. Thank you.