Seven Deadly Sins

The Lotus

These past few weeks have been a living hell. She's gone but theirs no one to blame but myself. I locked her up like a animal, made her deathly sick, then sent her away. I was at constant war with myself, did she scheme all of this? No way, Lotus was too pure of a soul? This is a product of my own insecurities, my trust issues, my harboured anger. I can't seem to shake my past. Growing up in the slums, going to bed many nights hungry while the rich eat from golden plates. Wearing hand me downs while the higher class complain if they have to wear the same outfit twice. Working from the time I was twelve to help provide for my family and making our own candles during times our power would be cut off.

Now here I am sitting on my high throne not wanting for anything. Never worrying where my next meal will come from or what bill to pay first. Laughing at all the people from my past that snubbed me while now I have every right to look down on them. My problem was I couldn't separate Lotus from those people. Even knowing that Lotus wasn't like them, that she bought me things, loved me when I had nothing, defended me, and is the reason I am where I'm at today. She never gave up on me, always encouraged me to chase my dreams, get educated and make something of myself, of course she didn't mean mob boss. Without her believing in me I'd probably still be slaving away in the slums living hand to mouth. There was no way Lotus could have schemed this up, it just wasn't her, she wasn't her parent's.

Now here I am without her due to my own ignorance and pride. Sure I could've removed from the cell anytime but I didn't won't to show weakness. I could've trusted and believed her but my cold, untrusting heart wouldn't allow it. Sounds crazy at the same time because out of everyone in the world Lotus was the one person I trusted most. All these other women I ran with didn't care about me, they cared about my wealth. Lotus was the real deal.

I stood gaping out my window the morning she left wanting nothing more than to run down there and beg for her forgiveness. But what could I possibly say or do to make her forgive me. Absolutely nothing. The things I did to her were unforgivable. I didn't deserve her nor her forgiveness. As pained as it makes me feel i hope Lotus finds the love she deserves one day. But no one is good enough for her. One things for sure, I'll never love again. Lotus was it for me and I'll continue to love her from afar.

1 year later

Things have really changed for me and in a good way. I adapted to my new life in Flordia very well and doing amazing. Within the first two weeks I landed a job as a financial accountant at a prestigious bank. There is where I met my new bestie Marcy. Immediately we hit it off, it was like we were long lost sisters. We had the same views and outlook on the world. Our only difference was  where I was calm and too nice, Marcy was a fire cracker. Smart mouth, snappy attitude, and had no issues with putting someone in there place quickly. She was gorgeous also, long dark hair paired with chocolate eye's and nicely tanned. Marcy was my saving grace so to say. New place, new people, new job, and of course still reeling from my loss of Seven and what he did to me. It's been a year now and I still can't stand the darkness. At night I always keep a light on and sleep with my lamp burning. Marcy walked into my life at my weakest moment and picked up my shattered pieces.

I've never told her about Seven or the things I've been through. Part of my freedom was to never mention Seven and I held up to that. When asked why I moved here I simply say that I lost my parent's and ended a long term relationship and needed a new start and that's when I found Marcy. She whipped me into a entire different world. A world of fun, parties, and men. Not only that, I still had a passion for baking and the first time I made cupcakes for Marcy she was astonished and that's what led me to where I'm at today. Along with her forceful encouragement I went back to school at night for a quick course in business management and culinary. Using some of the money Seven gave me I bought a small building, flipped it, and now it's my very own bakery. Marcy named it for me "The Lotus". Naturally their was fresh Lotus flowers on each table, Lotus murals painted on the walls and the majority of goodies I offered was shaped like a Lotus or decorated with icing Lotus's. The first few weeks business was slow and I started to fear I wouldn't make it but soon that changed. Word got out and I turned into a overnight success. I had to hire more employees, train a few bakers to follow my recipes because I barely had time to bake anymore due to dealing with all the business aspects that trailed along. Paper's and magazines were writing articles  about my bakery, online orders was flooding in, the elite were demanding my products at their events. Marcy quit the bank to help me manage the books and I finally found my nitch in life. Marcy and I worked our tails off all week and lived  it up on the weekends.