Oh My...

14.) Goodies

"If you think you're gonna keep doing this shit, you're dead wrong."

I honestly couldn't believe what was happening. Claire was scolding me like I was thirteen, and I was just taking it. She didn't wake me up in the morning, so I ended up sleeping until three in the afternoon. When I walked into the living room to ask why she didn't get me up for school, I saw her sitting up straight with her hands folded on her lap. The TV was on, but it was obvious she wasn't watching.

I was suspicious. After cautiously approaching her, I said: "Um. Hi?"

That was when things went down hill. She shot up and starting yelling and waving her hands in the air and pacing around the living room. I stared at her, my mouth ajar from shock at the things she was saying. 

"And don't you think I don't know what you're doing! Jesus Christ, Alex! You've been here for two days and you're already up to no good! How do you do that? It's like you look for trouble!"

I stared at the television the entire time she was yelling at me, focusing on the stupid commercials and advertisements to keep from snapping something back at her.

After a half hour of insults and guilt traps and threats, Claire fell back into the couch and grabbed the remote control, changing the channel on the TV. "I didn't bother waking you up because I figured if you didn't care about school, why should I? Why should I waste my time forcing you to go to school if you're just going to do what you want, anyway?"

I blinked at her, not quite believing what I was hearing. "Wait...are you saying I don't have to go to school anymore?"

She turned her head and looked at the TV.

"Claire, I'm serious. Is that what you're saying?"

"I'm saying if you don't care, why should I?" She shook her head in disgust. "Good luck living as a high school dropout, though. It's not going to be easy, Alex."

I stared back at the TV again, rubbing the back of my neck thoughtfully. I didn't think Claire was being serious--surly she'll force me to go to school again, she's just angry. I sat down beside her, but didn't face her. "Are you gonna send me back?" I whispered.

"What for?" She groaned, reaching over to grab the cigarette pack sitting on the small side table next to the couch. I swallowed; this told me she at least thought about it. Claire took out a cigarette and handed one to me. "You'll just go back to doing the same shit you always do. I'm starting to think the location isn't the problem--it's you-"

"I know," I groaned. "Can I have a light?"

Claire glared at me before passing me a green lighter. "Will you let me finish? You need to see the light, so to speak. You need to want to save yourself before anyone else can even attempt to help, but it doesn't seem like you want to. Alex, do you really want to live like this?"

I lit the end of my cigarette. "It's all I know," I muttered. "It's what I deserve."

"Alex, you know damn well you can learn new ways. Look, you need to see it like this: you can change the way you live, do you really want to live a dirty, sad, pathetic life? Where all you do is get high and hang around scumbags? Or do you want to live a life where you can actually become successful? Fuck everything else, right now these are your two options. You need to choose.

"You're so lucky you're young, Alex. You truly do have time to make a difference and better yourself. I know you're a smart girl, and I know you can get over the fact that we live in squalor and you have a difficult past. You can really make something of yourself and get out of here. Don't you want to do that? God, I wish I was in your  shoes right now. Do the right thing, Alex." She put out her cigarette in an ashtray and stood up. "Would you mind running to the store and getting me some things? I'll make a list."

I swallowed and stood up. "Yeah, sure." I whispered. Of all the things she told me today, her speech had the biggest impact.

Claire stared at me before nodding. "Thanks. I'll give you some cash, just give me a minute."

She disappeared down the hallway, leaving me to process her words and to contemplate my new decision.

* * *

I didn't go to Giant to get the things Claire wanted. I wasn't in the mood to run into Alicia and talk about last night. Plus, I wasn't sure how upset she'll be with me since I basically ditched her. So, I kept walking down the sidewalk until I found a corner store named Goodies.

I walked in. It wasn't big, but it was crowded with all the basic things a person could need; toilet paper, snacks, beer, clothes, etc. I was the only person inside, and while I searched for the items on Claire's list, something kept bugging me to test the waters--push my boundaries and see if I could get served here. I knew this wasn't the best thing to do after the speech I just heard, but I figured I'll start fixing my life tomorrow. I deserve this today.

I dropped all of Claire's items along with a Colt 45 on the counter top. The older man standing on the other side of it had dark toffee skin and wiry black hair. He deadpanned the amount I owed and I briskly passed him the twenty Claire gave me. He put everything in a plastic bag and handed it to me. "Have a good one." He muttered.

"You too," I returned as I walked out.