They Called Her El Diablo

Chapter 13: Just Let Me Go

I edited a little bit in the previous 2 chapters to make it flow a little better with this one so read it to have a better story flow :)

Suicidal tendencies here please be warned

Hayden's POV

I knew what was happening. But I didn't want to believe it. I told myself the last time that if I'd ever found myself in a similar situation I would kill myself. My parents being around during that period didn't help either. Being told over and over that you're stupid, useless and better off dead kind of messed with your head. The mental abuse was bad, the physical abuse ruined me.

No, I never wanted to feel this. But here I was. Suffering from withdrawals. Cold Turkey treatment. I tossed and moaned in the bed I was in, grateful for the feel of silky sheets against my sweat-drenched over-heated skin. I registered wearing the spring soap shirt and my undies that were now soaking in sweat and blood from where I might've torn open the stitches. When I first gained consciousness, I remembered the stunt I'd pulled in front of some of the guys and their covert sedating act, but my attention was soon on my withdrawals.

The painkillers were gone now, the doctor must've realized I would relapse if he continued pumping me full of the drugs. Every toss, every sound I made send strokes of pain through me, causing me to sob in distress.

I felt many hands on me, some dabbing me with cool washcloths to keep my temperature down and the others holding me down to prevent me from moving too much and worsening my injuries. I was delirious, and in unimaginable pain.

''Please,'', I begged gripping the guy nearest to me. Mismatched eyes- Marc. ''Just one shot, and I'll be better. P-P-please!'' I cried hysterically

I turned to my right side and grabbed the blonde dabbing my forehead gently. ''I'll do anything, please. C'mon Sean I'll be a good girl, I'll be your good girl.'' I begged. He looked at me with pain and sorrow in his eyes.

I hated that look, thrashing about trying to escape this prison, this torture.

I felt my stomach turning and I sat up abruptly, gagging a little. One of the guys holding my legs must've known I was about to throw up and pushed a bucket under my head. I threw up the acidic contents of my stomach, barely noting that someone was holding my hair and gently stroking my head. 

I needed to get out, needed to keep that promise to myself. ''Bathroom'' I mumbled

''Sure, sweetie, let me help you up,'' Sean cooed, firmly supporting me as I stumbled over to an ensuite bathroom. It was too dark for me to notice who else was in the room, something I was thankful for. It kinda still bugged me how they all knew each other but I supposed that was one of the downsides of leaving this Earth prematurely.

 He followed me in as well as Gabriel. 'Damn, Mischief,'' Gabriel gasped when he saw me in the light.

''yeah,'' I muttered, looking around for something sharp. 

Sean gave him a glare and went to pick a fresh toothbrush for me. He passed it to me, with toothpaste already on it, while Gabriel started to brush out my hair, deftly braiding it.

 Chief walked in, asking Sean in an authoritative voice, '' How is she faring?'', his almond dark eyes appraising me from head to toe. Yeah like I didn't feel conscious enough Chief.

Goddamn, how many people were there gonna be here? No matter, I'm fast, I just have to be faster than the rest of them. I spit out my toothpaste and reached over to the tap to turn in on. Noting that Gabriel and Sean were engaged in conversation with Axe, I sneakily stole a razor and held it in my fist, feeling it cut into my palm slightly.

''I'm done'' I announced. Sean and Gabriel nodded, leaving the bathroom first. I was hoping they'd let me be the last one but luck wasn't with me today. I was wrecked with shivers as I felt the next round of withdrawals attack me. I had to act now, I couldn't, wouldn't live through this. I had to keep my promise.

 I twisted the blade out of my palm and into my hand, holding it at the precise angle that I wanted to slice my wrist from. It was a little slippery from the blood but I had enough practice with this stuff. As Sean and Gabriel completely turned their back from me I reached my wrist out, palm facing inwards and swung the razor towards my target. I closed my eyes.

Why didn't I feel anything? I opened my eyes gingerly and was met with dark, furious, almond shaped eyes of Axe. He was gripping my wrist tightly in his hand and twisted my hand to make me let go. Not that easy, Chief.

I swung my leg out, ignoring the screaming pain, and hit him in the chest. I suppose he had to have called out to them when I was spacing out waiting to feel death's approach, because I was gonna swing the damn razor down, but was tackled by a huge body that made me lose my grip on my salvation.

'NO! NO! LET ME GO!'' I screamed and cried, frantically pushing against the gentle restrains of my tackler.  Raven, I realized, as I saw the sprawling ink work across skin and the glint of a lip piercing.

I reached for Raven's pressure point and squeezed, making him let go of me briefly. Gabriel was on the floor kneeling nearby, spouting calming words at me, hands raised in a non threatening gesture. His lips were moving but I couldn't hear shit. He distracted me, allowing Raven to get a firmer grip on me this time.

''NO!'' I shrieked as his grip was impossible to break. His warmth was so comforting. I struggled to remember my defensive attacks in my hazy state but it evaded me. In the dim light, I saw Silas and Owen standing near by, tensed and speaking loudly, but my ears felt clogged.

 I was wrecked by shudders again, my body perspiring excessively once more as the second bout of withdrawals plagued me. Raven picked me up while Axel stroked my head murmuring soft reassurances. I beat against Raven's chest the best I could given my diminished strength.

''Just let me die, why won't you let me die...'' I wailed, fading as the darkness took me. My last sight was Owen patting Sean's shoulder reassuringly as he spoke to Raven and Axe, looking anguished.

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Ta-da! 2 chapters in a day what a feat. I am totallyy drained and I really hope y'all liked this chap. Little insight into Hayden's character and her past struggles with substance abuse. She has more issues than the boys ever thought and she'll need them just as they'll need her in the future!

Share, Vote/Comment to show your love. It inspires me and gets the story bug going :D

Cheers Swans!

CS