We're Neighbors

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I let my hair glide over my shoulder as I put both my arms on either side of him.

I gently shook him. "Baby, it's 11. Time to wake up."

I didn't wake him up because he should wake up; I woke him up because I was lonely. I wanted him to hold me.

His eyes fluttered opened. He smiled when he saw me.

"Kiss me," he whispered.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Just do it," he said.

I leaned down and placed my lips on his. He sighed into my mouth and wrapped his arms around me, sitting up.

He kissed me deeply. I was curious, but wasn't about to ask.

As our lips parted, he smiled again. "You're so freaking beautiful."

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said, running his hands through his sexy morning hair, "I just feel like I need you so much and like I haven't seen you in so long. It hurts sometimes. But when I woke up, It felt different. Like you weren't here, or you weren't mine. So I needed to make sure." He smiled shyly.

There was more, I knew. He sounded weird when he talked and his words were strange and vague. There was something he didn't want to tell me. But I wasn't about to pick a fight.

"I promise with all my heart that I'm here and I'm yours," I smiled. I held his arms that were still tightly around my waist and kissed him again.

He held me there for a while, kissing me deeply and not letting me escape his arms, not that I minded.

I leaned into his chest and took in his scent. It was addicting. "I love you," I whispered,

He kissed my head. "I love you too. I love you so much it hurts. So much."

I closed my eyes. "Can we stay here all day?" I asked.

"Mhmm," he hummed,"Please let me hold you all day."

"Yeah," I said uneasily. Seeing his uneasiness reminded me of mine. I suddenly remembered that me keeping some huge things from him was putting space between us. Space we couldn't afford. I had tried to forget about it, but I just couldn't.

"Charlie?" I said.

He rested his head on my shoulder. "Hmm?"

"I... I haven't been completely honest with you. And I need you to know something."

He swallowed hard. "Yeah... You can tell me anything."

"You know back before? Before I moved here and met you?" I asked.

He smiled thinking of that day. "Yeah."

"You know how you hurt me? And I moved to escape home?" I slowly said, carefully.

His smiled faded. "Jo?"

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I... I... Uhh...."

He snaked his arms tighter around my waist And kissed my cheek from behind. "Baby, I'm here for you. Please... Tell me."

"I... Uhh... I hurt. I was in so much pain losing you. I felt like I was going to die. In fact......I... I wanted to," I whimpered.

I heard a gasp huff from his mouth. "Joanna," he croaked.

"I... Ummm... I wanted the pain to go away. I... Charlie, I almost killed myself," I said, beginning to cry.

I felt his arms melt from my waist. I turned and saw his eyes beginning to swell. "Oh, Joanna. Please....."

But I couldn't stop. He had to know.

"I thought about different ways...." I said slowly.

"Jo, please stop...." He said, his voice cracking.

"I wasn't sure if I wanted there to be pain or not."

He breathed heavily. "Joanna, stop."

"I wasn't sure if I cared."

"Please, please stop," he begged.

"I gave myself options. I bought blades... And I bought pills..."

"No. Stop," he said again and again.

He was breaking my heart, but he had to know,

"I was about to use them when I decided to leave instead. Maybe then, my head would be clear. Maybe then, I would figure out if life was worth living," I slowly finished.

He was sobbing by the time I finished. I turned around to face him.

I reached out my hand to touch his face, but he stopped me.

"Don't. Please, just..... Don't," he cried.

"Charlie, it was never you're fault. It was mine. I was selfish," I said, looking down.

"Joanna, you're killing me.... You're really killing me," he stuttered.

"Talk to me," I pleaded.

He looked up, but struggled to look me in the eyes.

"The fact that you would've left the world, left me, because I hurt you so bad kills me more than you know. It makes me hurt so bad, I can't think right. Oh, Joanna. My beautiful, beautiful Joanna. You're killing me slowly. I never ever wanted to hurt you."

I nodded. "I know. And you did, but now it's over. And I promise I'll never think if it again. Im so sorry."

He ran his hands through his hair and revealed his red eyes. "Oh baby girl, you drive me crazy. Im crazy about you. You've got me going absolutely mad. But I don't know whether or hold you closer than ever or push you away so you can be safe."

"Hold me close. Please, just hold me," I begged.

He reached out his shaky hands and ran them across my tear stained face.

"Even when you cry, your beautiful."

He brought my face to his, softly caressing my neck. But as our lips neared, he froze.

"I can't. I can't hurt you again. I just can't," he mumbled.

Before he could pull away, I shoved our mouths together and moaned softly into his mouth.

That was too much for him. He wrapped his arms around my waists and pulled. He tugged me closer than was possible. He wouldn't let go of me or my lips.

"Don't... Ever.... Make me crazy.. For you... About you.... Like this.... It hurts me more when you're in pain. Tell me... I'm yours... And that you'll never hurt.... Me like this... Again," he mumble in between kisses.

"Mhmm," I sighed into his mouth, causing him to have to take a breath.

"Oh god. The things you do to me, my beautiful girl," he sighed.

I smiled.

He froze, staring at my mouth. "Your smile..... How?" He asked in awe.

"Babe, is there something you're not telling me?" I asked him.

He faded. His armor was cracked.

"Babe, I have to leave you..." He slowly replied.

Just because you guys are amazing!!!(and I promised that once I got 20 likes I'd write the next chapter) I love you Guys too much! Your feedback means everything!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️