Thinking About You - Joel Pimentel

Chapter 16

The lights from the cars illuminated my small space as the bus moved on a normal pace. I heard snoring coming from the others as the lights were off. I didn't move--just stare at the top of my bunk. There's no words to describe how I feel. In fact, there's no emotion. I feel numb and confused.

I keep beating myself up on my actions. Why did I leave? Why was I so bothered? I thought I was doing just fine. I was doing just fine....

Why did I cry? Before I join them, it's been days since I cried. It's been days since I stayed up thinking. Why now?

It was what Erick said.

It hasn't been a week yet and I already want to go home. I want to quit so I can move on from him. I need to.

I heard a phone buzzing and realized it was mine. It was the person I haven't talk to and that's always been there for me...Mario.

I plugged my headphones in and answered. "What's up?" I whispered.

"Shit. It's late where you are huh?" He asked while I chuckled. "I'm sorry I'm barely calling. How are you? Are you okay?"

I sighed and took one headphone off just to be aware that no one's awake or to simply hear if anyone gets up.

"Great until now." I whispered. He sighed and I knew he was worrying. "I'll get through it."

"What happened?"

I peeked through my curtains and saw the lights still off and all curtains closed. I closed my curtain and took a deep breathe. "He got jealous."

Mario stayed quiet and I really wasn't hoping for that. I really needed him to tell me not to overreact like I always do. I needed him to tell me to ignore it. I wanted him to say anything.

"Please say something." I pleaded. He sighed and puffed.

"I-I can't."

"Why not? You always have." I said getting a little louder.

"Because it has to do with your feelings. I could tell you everything but it doesn't matter. Your feelings are stronger. Your heart doesn't even listen to your head. What makes you think it'll listen to me?" He said all in one breath. Now I'm the one who's quiet.

"Look, you're with them because you have a job." I heard a gate close and leaves being stepped on. "Concentrate on your job. Go with the flow."

I chuckled. "You're going to visit your mom's grave?"

"Yeah I am. And you know, last night I went to visit your grandfather's for you and he's the one who told me to tell you this." He chuckled.

"Ahora hasta hablas con espíritus?" I whispered making him laugh.

"Si. Así de chingon soy." I smiled although he couldn't see me. "But for real. Listen to your heart. Do your job and if anything happens, don't think. Let your heart do the talking."

"I wish it was that easy." I said and sighed. I heard a noise and quickly peeked my head out to see who or what it was.

It was Joel holding his phone with his flash on. He froze as he pointed the flash at me. "Why are you up?" He whispered.