Shape of You

Chapter 14

I woke up in the room I had shared with Cassian. My head was throbbing, I had no memory of how I got here. My body protested as my eyes opened and I felt the strain in every muscle I moved. It was dark, but I could see that the sheets were stained with my blood. My back hurt but I could feel a bandage in place over the wound. I winced and as I tried to sit up I felt the bindings on my wrists and my ankles pull tighter.

"I could've let you bleed out. But I figured it would be more romantic if Cassian found you here."

I struggled against the ropes, "I couldn't have tied myself up and then killed myself. You arrogant ass."

He smiled that menacing smile, "oh I know, darling," he touched my cheek and I wanted to puke, "I know how to clean up the crime."

Cassian had asked why I hated nicknames and it all came back to the surface. His tongue spewing darling, baby, all the names I hated were because Tomas had tried to push them on me. His dark eyes, his light voice. It made me cringe, the way he looked at me and called me something sweet. As if he was making a private joke, condescending me without even trying.

He winked and I shivered. "Please Tomas. I'll give you whatever you want. I just. I don't want to die."

"I know. Again that's why my original plan went out the window. Because now you're happy."

I swallowed my response and waited. Tomas was pacing back and forth. I had to find a way to get out of this. To make him let me go. He kept pacing and I kept biting my lip. Time seemed to stop, what felt like hours was only minutes. I watched him walk back and forth, back and forth. He was fighting with himself. I could see it happening as he scratch his head with the knife, glanced at me, then went back to pacing. It was as if he wasn't sure he should go through with his plan.

Tomas wasn't evil. At least the boy I had known wouldn't do this. But then again he had changed, something had snapped inside of him the day he recorded that video. The day he took away my pride and ruined the girl he had known. We weren't the same people, the girl next door who had a crush on the older boy. He wasn't the boy who had dated my sister and somehow hurt me.

He was a stranger. He was a monster. And now he was deciding how he was going to finally ruin me. He was going to take me away from my sisters, from the life I had finally wanted to live. He was going to take away Cassian. He was going to do what I had wanted to do all those months ago. I had fought through the darkness he pushed me under. Only to find myself facing the very same thing months later.

When I had finally realized I had a reason to live. I had sisters who loved me, sisters who never let this man come between us. I had fought myself, my own hatred against the things he and done to me and found someone who saw me as beautiful, who saw me. Someone who wanted to love me as much as I realized I wanted to love him.

I couldn't let him win. I had to fight. I had to push through his darkness one last time. Then I would finally be free. We would all be free.

After another minute of him pacing, I let out a sigh, tired of watching him. I broke the silence that had coated the room.

"You could be happy. If you let go of whatever it is you're holding onto with me. If you move on from whatever game this is. You'll be happy too."

His eyes flashed but then he shook his head. He pulled the bindings even tighter, reassuring himself that I couldn't get away. I bit down a scream as the ropes burned my skin. Then he drug the knife up my calf. He sliced it deep enough to hurt, to bleed. But shallow enough that it would heal.

"He's not coming," Tomas said as I kept struggling, "so stop hoping he'll save you. No one will save you, Nesta. No one but me has ever cared about you. No one but me will ever care about you."