Chapter 38

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Turns out this isn't the last chapter like I had originally thought. The website I had gotten it from didn't have the chapters after this, but thankfully I found the ones I was missing on another website. So, we're all good to continue.

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VRY IMPOTENT MASSAGE

Hey guisssss!1!11! It's ofcialy 12;03 aM on Decmbr 24 CHRISTMS were I life, and I thougt that since its everone's FAVORITE holyday I would write a Chritmas specil! Some ppl sad i shold. [ fair enough ]

But b4 that I hav a differnt veirson of eht somng rudof the RedNosed Raindeer! :DDDD Its called... STAREGLAEM THE PRUPEL CAT!1111! [ I'm VERY excited ]

StarGlema the puprle cat 

Was a vrey purpel cat [ beautifully written ]

And if you evre saw hre.

You wold evne say shes fat. [ well alright then ]

Al of the othre cats

used to laguth and call her ames. [ they literally never did that but okay. ]

they nevre let por StarGealm

join in ne kity games [ I'm actually impressed. This all rhymes so far ]

then one ofgy Gatherng

BlueStar came to say

SarGlema with our fur so bright [ so stargleam glows? ]

won't you led the gathering tonigt? [ and that, my dear, is where everything went wrong ]

Then al the kites loved her

as they shoted out with gle

StarGlema the purlep cat

youll go don in histroy! [ whether that be for good or for bad reasons I won't say ]

Ok now hers the speciail. 

SpottedLeaf cam dwn from the sky to appar to Jay Feather on a dream. [ Wait, hold up what happened with Firestar showing up. ]

She told him that "DawnSparkle will have a kit, and her name must be StarGleam." [ oh okay so this is in the past ]

JayFather asked how this wad suppoded to happn, since she hadn't done u-kno-wat with DawnSparkle at that pont. [ let's keep this PG fellas thank you ]

YellowFanng repld. "Trust in GoStarvlan and they wont led you wong." [ What is GoStarclan? Is this like Pokemon Go? ]

So then DawnDparkle and JayFeather went arund fir a while and then the baby started to come!1!11 [ ... alright then ]

So the went to an inn but the inkerpr wouldnt let them stay thr. [ is this chapter trying to say that starstar is jesus. are you serious ]

So they went to a barn instead and all the other aminals gathered ronnd to see the birth. [ THEY ARE CATS. THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS ]

AND THEN STARKIT WAS BORN!1!1111111!1!11!1!11!11!1 [ oh yay. I'm sure we're ALL happy about that ]

Then ther e was a relly brigt star a bove them, and then LionHeart, BleuStar and YelloFang [ I don't think Christianity would approve of this ]

"Wat are you doin her?" asked DawnSparkle and then they said "Were heremto see baby JdSusKit. [ Jesuskit. Jesus... kit. This is not allowed ]

"Ok come see hier then" said DawnSparkle and ten they all came over to her. 

The also gave her gold, frankenstein and mir. [ they gave her frankenstein. ]

"This is our savor." said Bluesatr. "We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11 [ You heard it here first guys, Starkit is Jesus ]

Hark the herald angels sing [ I'm impressed. She spelled it all right ]

"Glory to the newborn King! [ And this. ]

Peace on earth and mercy mild [ ... ]

God and sinners reconciled" [ I'm coming to the idea that she probably used copy and paste ]

Joyful, all ye nations rise

Join the triumph of the skies [ I don't know what to comment on this song because everything is spelled correctly ]

With the angelic host proclaim:

"Christ is born in Bethlehem"  [ I'm surprised it doesn't say 'Starkit was born in ThunderClan' ]

Hark! The herald angels sing

"Glory to the newborn King!"

(i copied the lyrics since i didnt know the song) [ Knew it ]

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! [ I now realize I didn't really time putting up this chapter very well. Since, you know, it's the middle of summer ]


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