He's Psycho But I Love Him

Chapter 34

Devantè

I haven't seen Paris in a minute

Ima just go over to her house, I get up and leave my house

I knock Paris's door it takes a while but she opens it....she look like she's been crying for hours her eyes are bloodshot red and her Cheeks are tear stained

When I looked down she had a needle with some clear liquid inside, she hid it behind her back when she realised I saw it

I walk into her house and i notice that on the table that's cocaine lined up in three lines, there's weed, a lot of weed and there's something that looks like heroin inside along side a belt

I look at her and then my eyes travel to her stomach "where's the baby?" I ask when I realise her stomach was flat

"Upstairs in her crib" she mumbles I go upstairs and see that Asia is sleeping in her crib  she's so damn cute 😍

I walk back down and catch Paris injecting  the needle into her arm after she tied the belt around arm

I take the needle out her arm carefully and empty them into the toilet and she yells at me

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING....I NEED THEM" she yelled as her eyes slightly roll

She runs into the living room and I chase after and dust away the cocain before she touches it and I take the weed and put it in the bin

"Whyyyyyy?" She whines at me then she starts crying....her hair is so tangled she looks a mess

"Go and get in the shower and go get in bed" I tell her

"No Asia wakes up for a bottle soon" she mumbles

"I'll deal with Asia, go shower and sleep"

Paris

I haven't been coping well without Mateo, I've been taking drugs everyday to cover the pain and the ache I have in my heart right now

I feed Asia then put her to sleep so I can take drugs and by time she wakes up the drugs wear off but sometimes they don't

Like the other day Asia was crying for hours but I was drugged up, I could hear her but my body wasn't letting me move because I had took too much heroin

Child services have already come here once and threatened to take her away but I refuse...I'll run away with my baby if I have to

Taking so much drugs is causing me to loose wait, loose hair and loose my mind....if Mateo saw me like this with his child he would probably yell at me

I've been ignoring his calls and face times and texts I don't want him to hear or see me like this

I cut my wrists a few times but I stopped doing that since it hurts when I have to hold Asia

Before Asia can understand what I'm doing I want to be better because I want to be the best mommy ever to her

Sometimes when Asia cries it gives me flashbacks of times that Mateo has cried, and when she smiles I get flashbacks of Mateo smiling

The other night I tried to take my life alongside hers, I went to a cliff and stood on the edge of it  with her held tightly in my arms and against my chest

Through all the drugs I just took I can still kinda remember what I said to her it was something like...

Babygirl your way to young to understand the pain and hurt I'm feeling right now so this is what I resorted to, I never wanted to do this. I'm sorry you never got to live your life but I would hate for you to grow up and ask daddy where I am that's why we're going to go together

And if I didn't kill myself I would hate for you to see me like this and Mateo would probably keep you away from me

...And I can't remember the rest, my hands start to shake, I need that heroin that devantè threw away.

Devantè

Seeing Paris like that really hurts my heart...a few tears roll down my cheeks as I look at Asia sleeping in my arms, she beautiful like her mommy

Mateo

I've been getting sex off strippers sneakily, I miss Paris way to much and it's hurting me

(That girl in he last chapter was a stripper)

We had a show on Saturday and my dancing wasn't good, my arms hurt from all of the cuts I've left on myself, I have a headache almost every night because I cry most nights when Ayleo is sleeping

She's not picking up my calls which hurts me even more, what happens if she's got someone new and there helping look after my child, I'll kill him if I have to

I groan as the knife slices multiple times through my skin

I'm just gonna have to get caught having sex, I'll do whatever it takes to come back home to my babies...this is all Ayleo fault he should've never dragged me to this silly tour.

I was thinking about hanging myself the other night but Danielle stopped me...whenever I'm going to do something Danielle always stops me, it's like she can sense when Ima hurt myself

The other day I dealt really sad and she was crying for some reason, we sat on the floor in the corner together and cut our arms together...it relieved me because I know I'm not alone

Ayleo

The past few days ain't been good for me I keep thinking about AJ and Ashanti and what if I really do never get to see my baby boy again

Ashanti

I'm fucking this guy

Its the wrong thing to do...I know but....

I need to stop lying , I was out with AJ and this guy pushed me behind the store into the dark shortcut no one ever goes down, he raped me right in front of AJ

And he still rapes me now but I have to pretend that I like it otherwise he said hell kill AJ

(She is who was fucking)

Everyone is depressed 👀😭

Is Paris going to get better or worse with Devantè around?

This chapter was so sad to write bruh 😭😭😭💔💔💔

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