The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

Caught in the Act

Anonymous, 17

I was chilling with my girl in a park and we started fooling around. Things were heating up so I said, “You wanna hit my house and watch a movie.” She happily agreed. I knew no one was going to be home at my place.

So, we’re at my house all alone, watching a movie on my sofa. We started making out again and again shit started to get intense. My patio doors are glass so we decided to head up to my room. We walk in and I turn on the radio. She’s already started to make herself comfortable on my bed. I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I thought why am I just standing here? So I got closer to her and we continued to do what we’d been doing downstairs.

Over the noise of what was now taking place in my bedroom, I thought I heard the door shut on the main floor. “Hold up for a second,” I said. I listened for a minute, but I didn’t hear anything so I just continued doing my thing. Little did I know, someone was climbing the stairs.

Then I heard my little nephew’s voice call out from the staircase.

“Uncle? What are you doing?” AWWW SHIT! was the first thing I thought. “GO AWAY!” I called back. I heard him step closer. The doorknob started to turn. I sprang into action! I jumped across the room, and with one thrust of my arms, I shut the door just as he was opening it. SMACK! The doorknob hit him in the nose. I heard my nephew cry and run down the stairs. I had to zip up and run downstairs to make sure he was okay. Man, my brother was pissed.

Getting caught having sex is more embarrassing than anything else, but it doubly sucks if a kid gets hurt because of it.

Moral of the story: always lock the door when you’re doing the dirty or find a place where you know you won’t be disturbed.