What am I to you

10

Dean's POV
I wasn't drunk. I wasn't high. But I was sad. I walked four miles to the cemetery. I was sitting in front of their graves.
Mary Winchester
John Winchester
"I screwed up"I whispered. "Like big time. Worst then anything I have ever done"I added. I shook my head. "You would be disappointed to even call me family. I know Sam is. "I said. My tone higher. "Everyone hates me "I added.

"Wouldn't be surprised if I get murdered in a few days. "I said. I felt tears. "But. You probably don't care. Your probably thinking. Great this mistake is here to rant about his problems. Why can't he be like Sam. Actually think for once. "I cried.

I looked down. "Believe me I want to be like him. I want to actually be smart enough to think about what I'm gonna do. To plan ahead so people don't get hurt"I cried.

I stood up. "BUT IM NOT "I yelled/cried. I wiped the tears. "I MAKE DUMB DECISIONS. AND I DONT THINK"I cried out.

"You proud of me?"I asked. "I hurt someone. I actually hurt a lot of people. "I laughed. "Sam. Gabe. "I whispered. "God. I even hurt someone I'm suppose to love. Cas"I said.

I felt more tears. "You would've loved him Mom. He has Wonder for every single damn thing. The month Sam was trying to get over Jess's death. I would try to talk to him. But he would be the only one talking. He would tell me about him wanting to travel when I said I traveled a lot when I was young. "I laughed.

"You would've loved that he made me happy,Dad."I said. "But. He doesn't love me. He can't. Cause I made a stupid choice of words. I lost my temper. "I smiled.

I chuckled. "You know you love someone when they can push your buttons. Right?"I questioned. I looked at the headstones. I shook my head. "I'm sorry"I whispered. I didn't say bye or I have to go. I just walked away.

I couldn't stand it. I wanted to be yelled at. But they can't. So why stay. I start walking home. Just thinking. Then a car parks by me. "Get in Boy"Bobby said. I let out a sigh. And got in.

He started driving. "How much of an idiot are you"he said. It wasn't even a question. I said nothing. "You know. Sam called me and told me what you did. "He said.

I did nothing. "Nothing to say boy. Wow first time you kept your mouth shut"he said. I looked out the window. "From what I heard this boy cared for you. A lot. And you cared about him. Why did you do it?"he asked.

I said nothing. "Answer "he yelled. "I don't know"I whispered. He laughed. "You don't know. "He repeated. He parked in front of my house. "Be smarter boy. "He said. I got out. He drove away.

I walked to the front door and heard yelling. Then silence. I opened the door and saw Gabe and Sam. They looked at me. "Since when did you start coming to my house?"I asked Gabe. He said nothing. "Dean. We need to talk. Can you please go to your room or something?"Sam asked.

I laughed. "You know I'm mad at myself to"I told them. They said nothing. "I want to tell him I'm sorry. I want to kiss him and just see those beautiful blue eyes again. I do. But I messed up. This will never be his fault. It's mine. "I said.

Gabe looked down. "And I'm sorry. That I hurt your brother. I'm sorry I made you hate me. Honestly you aren't alone. Sam hates me. Bobby hates me. Charlie hates me. I'm guessing you told Jo. Maybe Ellen. But I haven't gotten a death call yet. But I'm expecting it. "I said.

They looked at each other. "I'm sorry for making you two fight. Don't think I haven't noticed. Would take a deaf to not notice. "I laughed. They both just stared at me.

"I'll let you guys talk "I murmured. I was about to walk past them when Gabe stopped me. "If my brother ever had a choice between going back home to my terrible family. Or staying here. For you. Which is definitely worse. "He said.

"He would still choose you. Cause no matter what. In some way. You make him happy"he added. I smiled. "I am counting on you to make this better. In any way. Make it better. Cause my brother for the first time. Is hurt in another way. And this way is actually changing him. "He said.

I nodded. "This is my baby brother. And you would do anything for younger brothers. Am I right?"he asked. I looked at Sam. And nodded.

"But I swear to god. You make another stupid decision like this. You will never see my brother again. But that doesn't mean I stop seeing Sam. If your sad. I won't care. "He said. I nodded.

"Heh"Sam chuckled. "Got it. Night guys. And keep it down "I said. I ran to my room.

Sam's POV

"Got it. Night guys. And keep it down"he said. Then ran to his room. I blushed and looked at Gabe. He was just smiling. "No"I said. He pouted. "Nope"I smiled. He gave me a smirk. "Gabriel. Not while my brother is home"I laughed.

"So if he wasn't. That would be a plan?"he wondered. I smiled. "Depends "I smirked. He mouth flew open. "I want to know when I can move in"he said. I laughed. "You should probably head home. "I said.

He nodded. And started getting his stuff. "Gabe. "I said. He looked at me. "When is Castiel excepting you?"I asked. "Why"he smirked. "Curious "I said. Then bit my lip.

"I told him I would be out for a while. I owned you a date "he smiled. "Oh yeah. I remember you got jealous of the waiter"I laughed. He gave me a look.

"I was not jealous "he said. I nodded. "You through your food at her. Then put a fake ran in her hair "I said. He smiled. "Ok maybe a little"he laughed.

"I'll see you tomorrow "I said. He nodded. He kissed my cheek. Colors showing. "Thanks. "I said. He nodded. He turned around and started walking towards the door. He opened it but I spun him around and kissed him.

I felt him smile. He pulled back. "How romantic "he said. I nodded. I kissed him again. I opened my eyes to see his beautiful hair color. Skin. He backed away again and he opened his eyes. And his beautiful eyes.

I smiled. "I should leave before I have to call Cas and say I'm spending the night "he laughed. I nodded. I kissed his forehead. He waved and left.

I smiled. I then felt my phone buzz. I looked at it.

Gabe-Date?Dinner? Tomorrow?

I smiled. and texted back. I shut my phone off and went to bed.