The WindFlyer

Chapter 22

Draen's PoV

I wake when I hear the scream, bolting upright in the bed. I look around the small bedroom for a threat, but my eyes don't fall upon any intruder, rather they fall upon Astoria. She has pushed herself against the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees. She rests her chin on her knees, her eyes closed. I see her shudder, her breathing looks somewhat erratic as her chest rises and falls rapidly. Her face is drained of color.

"A... a nightmare. Nothing more. I'm... sorry. For waking you," she says as if she can feel my eyes on her. I hear her softly speaking to herself now. "A nightmare. Nothing more... nothing more." As if the words are a prayer. My heart aches in my chest for the pirate. She looks so broken here, so small, she looks terrified of something her own mind could conjure. I peel the covers back from the bed and pad softly over to her. I slide down the wall, sitting beside her now. I don't say anything, not really sure what to say, not really sure what to do.

"What..." I croak, "What was it about?" I whisper. She opens one of her eyes and looks at me. Her pupil is contracted so small that it is nearly lost in the sea of her blue eyes. Upon seeing me sitting beside her and not some nightmarish fiend, it slowly widens. She takes a deep breath in as another shudder racks through her body, causing her to shake violently.

"It was," her voice quavers slightly. "It was--" she cuts off now. "I, I can't," she practically whimpers. Again, pain shoot through my heart. This pirate, this girl, who has done so much for hopeless people when she didn't have to does not deserve this. She does not deserve to be hurt this way. She deserves to be happy, as happy as the people of this city, if not more so.

With a slow caution, I reach my arm around her curled up body and lay it across her shoulders. At first, she stiffens but then relaxes. "How often?" I ask gently.

Astoria is silent for a while, to the point where I think she may not answer. But she does. "Not often. Every few weeks or so. It used to be worse, it's nothing," she sounds miserable. The girl leans into my body now and I start rubbing her back in slow circles.

"I get them, too," I whisper, offering up a small broken part of myself. She lifts her head to look at me with confusion on her face.

"Really?"

"Aye. Usually about being locked away from the sea. Being trapped in the palace on my throne, never to sail again. I knew that once I was married I would have to give up sailing, I made myself be content to give it up for my people. But that never stopped the dreams. It still doesn't stop them," I say, recalling some of the particularly bad nights back home. I see the pirate nod slightly to herself. Understanding.

We continue to sit like that in silence, me rubbing smooth circles in her back and her slowly coming back down from her dream. The moon light streams in through a skylight, the milky whiteness bathing my feet.

"You're tired, you should go back to bed," she say to me. I shake my head no and remain seated next to her. Astoria unfolds her legs and extends them to the light pool of the moon. She looks down at her hands and clenches her fists once, twice, and a third time before she rubs her wrists, as if she can feel a phantom wrapped around them.

"You can see the stars through the skylight," I say, gazing out into the endless night. She looks up to the sky herself and nods.

"Aye. I put it in to remind myself when the nightmares come where I am. That I am free. Who I am. That I am Captain Astoria Roltem, feared pirate," she says, her eyes still on the stars and I frown slightly. Even the skylight and the stars serve as a distraction for her. Serve as her only comfort.

"What do they mean? The three red stars on your back, I mean," I ask trying to take her mind off of the nightmare. I know what it's like after waking up from one. Dwelling on it, closing your eyes and seeing it again and again and again. How many nights had I stayed awake until dawn, unable to rid myself of the thoughts? How many nights had I remained frozen in terror of my dreams? How many times had I wished someone would confort me?

I see Astoria's lips twitch upward in the ghost of a smile. Good, that's good. "One for who I was, one for who I am, and one for who I will be," she muses sleepily. With that, I smile to myself. I remove my hand from her back and stand. She peers up at me from lowered eyelashes before she speaks again, her head leaned back against the wall and her eyes shut. "Sleep well, prince."

I shake my head at her again before bending down and scooping her into my arms. Her eyes fly open and latch onto me as her arms encircle my neck. She leans her head against my chest to steady herself. "Just sleep in the bed, you stubborn mule," I say firmly.

She lifts her chin at me, "No. I am fine on the floor. You sleep in the bed." I snort and roll my eyes but continue to carry her.

"There is room enough for two. Lay down and sleep," I say plopping her down on the mattress. She groans a half hearted protest but relents eventually. I smirk a little to myself at the small victory. I throw the blanket over both of us and shut my eyes, I set a resolve to not sleep until I hear the pirate's smooth breathing. I feel Astoria roll around and shift slightly as she tries not to disturb me. I smile a little and the thought of her not wanting to bother me as she attempts to get comfortable. Finally, she settles down and I hear her breathing begin to calm, but it does not fall into the steady rhythm of slumber. I crease my brow and dare look at her out of the corner of my eye.

Her eyes droop as she fights to keep them open, perhaps not wanting to fall asleep again. I have faith that sleep will win out in the end, though. After a while, when her breathing is still too shallow to be asleep I begin to frown in confusion. Before I can say anything, I hear her speak.

"Do you," she pauses, "do you think you could ever be happy here?" She asks in a half asleep mumble, her voice slightly muddled by the pillow. My heart rate skyrockets at the question as my eyes snap down to look at her, but Astoria's eyes are shut now. I do not answer her for a long time. Opting for silence, pretending I have fallen asleep. Eventually, I hear the pirate's breathing finally fall into an even measured tempo, indicating she has finally fallen asleep. Even then, I do not answer.

I roll the question over in my head as I look to the stars. I have an answer. It strikes me now, in the middle of the night, with Astoria next to me. I roll the answer over in my head, again and again. I stare at the ceiling, feeling the heat of Astoria's body next to mine.

"Yes," I whisper into the darkness, feeling like I have to voice it now. "I think I could be more than just happy here."