Melodrama

New Day, Same Person

I wake up to the sound of cars honking to one another insanely and people screeching at each other. It's annoying, but that's Los Angeles for you.
I'm naked, fully naked if I correct myself. And I'm not loving it, I quickly sit up on the bed with the blankets wrapped around my chest.

Oh, right. Last night.

I look around to make sure the lousy man isn't around, I do see a note on his drawer.
Went out with my boys, let yourself out- John.
John, why did he leave his name on the note? If he used me for one night...why leave his name? Whatever, doesn't matter.

I grabbed the note and crumble it up, tossing it to his nearby mini trash can as I pick myself up from the bed.
Why did you have to leave me?...why? Why? Why? Why?
My brain asks. Soon I start to ask myself that same question. Why?

Why me Ray?

Blake is probably wondering where the hell I am, why would he care? I'm his adoptive sister he doesn't give a rats shit about me. He tries to show that he 'cares' but I can see through his lies, just like how I saw through Ray's eyes. Ahh, I found my clothes finally. I grab my flannel I worn last night and my white t-shirt that went along with it. I slid back on my upper body clothes and go down to grab my panties.

Ugh, today I'm really going to take a long shower. I smell of sweat and sex.

Don't ask me how to smell sex.
30 minutes later I walk out of this apartment. This white, creepy, and broken apartment.
"Gah-" I cover my mouth from the horrible stench from the nearby alley.

I gag "How do you even live here??!" I murmur and quickly storm off from the place, hoping to god the stench didn't follow me behind.
Faces brush behind me, unfamiliar faces from the streets and I make my way through the crowd. People, people, people. Go away.

I was always anti-social, I didn't really make conversations with anyone. The only way to get me to talk to you fully or consider being your friend was by getting me drunk. Or high. Whatever works. If I was drunk right now you'd see me talking to several people and most likely see me craving attention.
It ain't my fault, I never got the attention I needed when I was young. When I was in my teenage years, now here I am.

In adulthood. It's not great let me tell you that.
You go through all of these phases and all of these emotions it's fucking aggravating to deal with.
I'm 19 and STILL going through this phase, I wanna die.

You heard John mention my name in the previous event you just read just now. Yea, I'm Blaire.
Blaire Anderson. The girl who just wants to move on from her previous relationship and be wild.
It's hard, very hard. Consider this as...a major heartbreak for me.

You ever been in a long relationship and you loved that person so dearly that you'd do anything to keep him from leaving? You'd love him more than he ever loved you?

Well that's me. You're looking at a highly dramatic piece of shit that doesn't care much about herself nor anyone. Los Angeles is a place of loneliness and parties, you come here to have fun. Not to take a tour and pretend it's la la land.

That's what they want you to think, but baby. They're lying to you.

Welcome to the real Los Angeles, where all of your dreams will soon be crushed by assholes and irrelevant human beings.

I pace back to where my 'home' is, my phones dead and I have no money. I didn't think about bringing money last night because this girl said she would pay the alcohol for me.

Sigh

It's a new day for me, and I'm still
the same person.