Melodrama

Verbally Sensitive

God, isn't it funny how you can't move on from that person? It's so hilarious, that person on your mind the entire time, all those memories swirling in your head on repeat.

I hate it. I hate everything. I hate how Ray changed me. I wondered if he would've never left me, never abandoned me.

I made it back to the house, I asked a guy for a ride home. I asked a random stranger, risky but hey I'm home right?
I walked up the steps to the front door and my feet stepped on the mattress.
Wipe your damn feet! It said.
I always chuckle when I see the phrase. I knock on the door and waited 2 minutes until my 'brother' showed himself.

"There you are! Where the hell were you?!" He shouted, letting me walk inside and I sigh
"I went out to a party."
"With Jane! You just went with her and didn't even bother texting me saying 'oh hey! I'm going to a party! I won't be back until 12 PM!" He raised his voice a little. I hated when he would raise his voice, it made me feel scared.

"I'm alive isn't that relieving?!" I shouted, tossing my sweater to a chair and my eyes glared to him. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just his jeans.

Blake scoffed "It's relieving but what's not relieving is that I have to fucking stay up worrying about you every time you do this! I call and text you, you don't answ-" I stopped him right there
"Give me a damn break, my phone was dead!!"
"Don't interrupt me I'm the oldest!" His voice grew louder.

He's 26, I'm 19. Yea, it's a big difference. He had more power and control over me.
"Can we drop this already and leave me be?!" I shoved him out of my way and ran up the stairs, slamming my door and locked it.
I didn't want him to see me tear up and burst out crying. It's embarrassing when someone sees you cry because you feel so weak and useless at that moment.

You just cry.

I sat on my bed criss-cross, tears dropping to my shorts as they made tiny stains. I'm too dramatic, I'm the most sensitive, most fragile person in the planet. One negative comment towards me and I take it hard. Like a bullet shooting right through me without my armor to protect me. Life hurts, what hurts more is that you're so alone in this world that you don't have anyone to talk too but yourself. And that's what I do, I talk to myself and make myself feel much more better. Ray was the one I would talk too about my rants, my feelings, my breakdowns. Now he's gone, and I'm dancing in this world alone.

It's now 3:35 PM, I haven't ate anything since last night at 8:23 PM. I keep check at time it's creepy.
Blake hasn't checked up on me, I'm guessing he needed to cool off as well. His parents are somewhere in San Francisco, while my parents are...somewhere else. I don't know where my parents are, Blake nor his parents won't confess on how they found me. They said they just adopted me from Santa Monica Adoption Center but I saw through their lies. Their gestures of hands and the hesitation of their words made it quite obvious.

My stomach growled to me, I held it
Eat you stupid cunt

The stomach's right, I gotta eat. I pick myself up and yawn loudly, scratching my head as I walked downstairs. The house was super clean and extremely spotless. Blake was so anal and OCD he needed everything to be sorted and placed where they were originally located.

Oh I remembered.

He ordered pizza last night before I sneaked out to that party. I know I shouldn't have done that. I didn't have a choice in myself, it was either; stay home and stare at photos of Ray and I and cry my eyes until I passed out on the floor. Or, I go out, drink and smoke until my body can't handle it and I'm into my own little world. I'm trapped basically, if you were in my situation you would know how it's like. Some of you are and some of you aren't.
I wish I didn't take things so hard and let everything brush through me like the wind. I wish that I was raised normally, not by the internet and the jerks in high school. Speaking of high school, I met Ray in high school.

But, that's a different story.