𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙙 - e.d. [ completed ]

Nine

Emma

Bright lights blind my eye sight, when I open my eyes.

I feel a hand on mine, and I look down, grandma sleeping on the side of the hospital bed I was lying on. She lifts her head when she feels my hand move, her eyes lighting up, a smile stretching over her lips.

"Emma!" she exlaims and is on her feet in seconds, kissing my face. I chuckle and let her kiss my cheek repeatedly. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine." I say and she nods, sceptically. She glances down at my arms, and it's only now that I realise the hospital gown had little to nothing to hide.

My grandma knows about what happened with my dad, and my self-harming tendencies.

I see the sad look in her eyes, and tears threaten to spill, as she sees not only the old but also the new scars, from a couple days ago.

"The doctor said you could go home after you wake up, but they are obligated to double your sessions with Dr. Quinn. Also, they gave you stronger medication." she proceeds to tell me. I frown and look down at myself, feeling exposed.

"Could you please hand me a jacket or something. I don't feel comfortable like this." I say, off topic, and she frowns before giving me her baby blue cardigan off the chair, she was sitting on.

I put it on, immediately feeling less uncomfortable.

The door of my room creeks open, and for a second I'm confused, as to who else would visit me, I have no body else, but then I'm surprised when I see Ethan step into the room.

He grins, when he sees me awake, and struts over, giving me a hug, taking me by surprise.

I pat his back, not knowing how else to show affection, and purse my lips smiling when he pulls away.

"When I said we should hang out, I didn't mean in the hospital." he jokes, making me chuckle.

"Sorry." I say.

"Don't apologise. It's not your fault." he replies and pulls himself a chair over to my bed.

It is thought.

I ignore my mind, and watch him as he pulls a sandwich out of a plastic bag in his hands, along with some coke.

"I know how the food here sucks, so I thought I'd bring you some." he says, and hands me the delicious looking food.

I'm actually starving.

"Thank you." I say, and take the food.

"So, what happened?" he asks, as I unwrap the sandwich. Grandma excused herself, to the bathroom.

"Hmm?" I hum, biting into the sandwich.

"Why are you in the hospital? Is it serious?" he says, and I can see him genuinely worried.

I chew on my bite, deciding whether to tell him the truth or make up an excuse.

I barely know Ethan. I've only known him for less than a week, yet he feels closer to me than any friend I've ever had.

"Nothing serious, I just had a panic attack." I decide to be truthful. If I want to start trusting Ethan, I have to start somewhere.

"That is serious, Emma." he says, grabbing my hand. "What triggered it?" he continues. I visibly tense up, and pull my hand away from his. He notices and drops his hand into his lap.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me now. Tell me when you're ready." he says.

The fact he believes our friendship will last long enough for me to tell him who hurt me, is giving me anxiety. The insecure inner me is telling me he'll leave, just like anyone I ever trusted, but the deep down hidden me, is telling me to hold onto him for dear life, as if he's my life ring.

"Thank you." I say, genuinely thankful. I appreciate him not asking anything about my silence. Most people want to know everything the second they hear about it.

"So, when can you leave?" he asks, changing the topic.

"She can leave soon." A voice says from the door, and I look up seeing doctor Gregory walking in. She smiles down at me and at Ethan.

"Can I speak to miss Clive alone please?" she says to Ethan. He nods, sending me a sympathetic smile, before leaving.

"Emma, darling, you promised I would see you here anymore." she sits down beside me. Doctor Gregory has had me here two times before and every time she is so nice and caring. Last time I made a promise not to come back, I promised to get better. But I guess all promises are meant to be broken at some point.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." I say.

"Lift up your sleeve for me, darling."

I'm ashamed to show her my cut up arm, especially since there's scars still healing.

She sighs, and looks at me with a sad look. "I'm sure your grandmother has explained to you we will be doubling your sessions with Dr. Quinn, and giving you stronger medication. But depending on what I'm seeing right now, you aren't getting better." she says, looking at me, under her thing brimmed glasses. "I would like you to visit this club called the D.A.S.C. every weekend. It's a group of kids, with the same problems as you, you don't need to do much, just talk." she says. "It's completely free, you don't even have to go, if you don't want to. This is just me helping you get better, okay?" she says.

"Okay." I say, taking the brochure she hands me. All thought I know I won't be going.

"Okay. Great." she says, enthusiastically, trying to lift my spirit up. "You can go home." she informs me before walking toward the door. "And don't you dare come back." she threatens jokingly, making me chuckle. I nod, and she leaves with a smile.