𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙙 - e.d. [ completed ]

Fifteen

I'm sorry it's not proof-read. I haven't had the time and I'm kind of posting the chapter in a rush. I'll edit it and post another in a couple of days.

Enjoy 😊

----

Emma

"So, how have you been Emma?" Dr. Quinn, asks, putting her notepad on her crossed over knees and looking up at me from under her glasses.

"Better." I say, matter of factly. She raises her eye brows in interest.

"Really? How come? What made you feel better?" she asks.

"Uhm, I met someone. A friend." I say.

"A friend?" she asks.

"Yes."

"And he he makes you feel better?"

"I guess."

"I guess?" she questions.

"I don't know. I guess I'm not used to people making me feel better." I explain.

"Well, this friend of yours is certainly helping you in some way. I'm pretty sure this is the longest conversation we've had." she jokes making me chuckle.

"I guess." I shrug.

"How does that make you feel? Having someone to make you feel better? Having a friend?"

I furrow my eyebrows trying to think of an answer.

"It makes me feel.. not empty. And somehow cared for."

"What about your grandmother? She cares about you."

"Yes, but it's not the same with Ethan." I say.

"Your friend? Do you feel any of your old feelings when you're around him?"

"I'm reminded of my old life on a daily basis. Everything I do, see, hear, somehow seems to remind me of-" I hesitate. "Him."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Like I can't escape my past. Like I can't escape him. And all it reminds me of is how worthless I feel. How convinced I am I will never get to live a normal life. How I don't deserve it." I purse my lips. I don't like opening up, it gives me anxiety. I never liked sharing my life story with anyone.

"And Ethan makes you feel the opposite?" Dr. Quinn glances up at me while jotting notes onto her paper.

I guess he did always somehow make me feel like I wasn't all that worthless. Like maybe someday I would be able to live in piece. That one day I could be normal. But then something reminds me of him again and I'm back to square one.

"Sometimes." I conclude.

"Tell you what. I'm gonna give you this notebook," she says, pulling a regular black notebook out of the drawer on the side table next to her and handing it over to me. "Every time you feel anything, write it down. Any time you are about to meet up with your friend write down your feelings before and after, so you see the difference. How you respond. Write down your thoughts, ideas, any small thing, no matter how insignificant you think it is, write it in the notebook." She says. "And then take one day a week to read back your thoughts and feelings. Just so you see how much you are changing, how much progress you are making. And keep your friend. He's clearly good for you." she smiles and I return it stuffing the notebook into my bag.

"See you on Wednesday." she says as I walk out the door.
"Bye." I say simply, and walk out.

----