Blood runs cold

Chapter 14: locked away

Caitlin's POV

I stopped walking and turned to the two frozen men. "I'm so sorry" I said.
Then I thought of Barry again. I felt myself becoming more Caitlin, but it won't last long.
I should go see him. I thought. I knew I had to tell him that I was sorry. What if he doesn't want to see me. The last thing he saw me do was kill a man. I made up my mind: I need to see him.

I started walking back to the apartment, often taking turns that would cause me to get there later. I wasn't far from the apartment but the sun was beginning to rise and I knew I would need to stay away from the public as much as possible.

When I finally arrived at the door of the apartment I stopped. I didn't know what to do. Should I knock? Should I walk in? I know it's my house just as much as it it his but it didn't feel right to just walk in.

Lightly I knocked on the door. When the door open I smiled when I saw Barry.

"Caitlin?" He asked happily, but the smile quickly faded, "or is it killer frost, now"

I took a moment to respond. "No,Barry, it's me."

As soon as I said this he pulled me into a tight hug. "I've missed you." He said.

"I know. And I'm sorry. But I need your help."

"Anything, what do you need."

I pulled myself out of his arms. I could tell he was getting worried. "I need you to lock me in the pipeline."

"No! Absolutely not! I just got you back." He protested.

"I know. But Barry, this isn't permanent. I could feel myself becoming her again."

"Caitlin-" he didn't finish. He knew I was right.

He pulled me in for a kiss. I hesitated for a moment, not knowing if I would hurt him or not.
"It's ok." He said and kissed me.

This time I was in control of my powers. I didn't hurt him and as soon as I realized I wouldn't I kissed him back.

We stayed like this for a few minutes but I felt myself beginning to lose control. I pulled away and said, "Barry, we need to go now. I'm losing control."

"Okay." He scooped me up into his arms and before I knew it I was inside of one of the cells in the pipeline. "I'm so sorry, cait." He said sadly on the opposite side of the glass.

I put my hand on the glass that was separating us. "It's ok. It's for my own good."

"I know." He said sadly.

"And promise me: no matter what I say as... Her, don't believe me. I love you and I hope you know that."

"I do." He smiled "I would kiss you right now if there wasn't a glass wall between us."

I laughed a little then a tear ran down my face. I wiped the tear away as fast as I could with my sleeve.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Barry asked calmly.

"Barry, I'm scared. I'm so scared."I cried.

"I know. Cisco and I are doing everything we could to help you get control of your powers." He said softly.

"No. I don't want control of them, I want them gone." I said angrily. I felt myself loosing control.

"Caitlin, I don't know if we can." He said sadly.

"Please, try. I can't live like this. I don't want to be locked down here forever."

"I won't let that happen. I'm going to help you."

I feel myself being sucked back into the darkness. I try to fight it as long as I could but I'm loosing this battle quickly.
"Barry, go. I don't want you to see me like this."

"No, I'm going to stay down here with you." He said.

All I felt was anger and pain now. "Can't you see I don't want you here!?" I yelled.

"Cait-" he began.

"Caitlin this, Caitlin that, Barry, I don't want to hear it. What I want is for you to leave me alone. If I'm going to be stuck in a damn box I sure as hell don't want you here irritating me!"

"This isn't you." He said.

"Oh but it is. I'm just saying all the things Caitlin was to afraid to say. Now, leave"

He put his arms up in surrender. "Alright, I'm going." He started walking away. As soon as he got to the door he stopped and turned around "I love you." Then he walked out.