Blood runs cold

Chapter 29: forgiveness

Caitlin's POV

I ran into the busy hospital and Barry was waiting for me. "Where is she?" I asked worriedly. He put his hands on my shoulders and stopped me "Caitlin, I know you are worried about your mother, but you need to calm down. She needs you to stay calm." He told me.

"How bad is she?" I asked. He hesitated for a moment and I knew that it was serious. "Oh god." I began crying and he pulled me into a hug.

"She is awake but they don't know how long she'll be able to pull through." He told me.

"I'm going to loose her aren't I?" I asked through the tears.

He held the back of my head with one hand and held me tight with the other "I don't know." He held me tightly as I let out all of my tears. "Do you want to go see her?" He asked and I just shook my head yes. "You need to calm down though."

I pulled myself out of his arms and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I took a deep breath in to calm my breathing and said," let's go."

I followed him to the elevator that took us up a few floors. We got off the elevator and walked down what felt like a never ending hallway before we stopped in front of a door. I took one more deep breath and opened the door. When I walked in I saw my mother. She was very skinny and pale and no longer had any hair. Her lips were chapped and she had large dark circles under her eyes.

Seeing her like this broke my heart. I walked in slowly, not knowing if she was awake. Her eyes opened slowly and when she saw me a wide smile spread across her face.

"Hey, Caitlin." She smiled

"Hi mom." I smiled, fighting the tears the swelled up behind my eyes. I pulled a chair next to her bed so I could sit next to her.

"I'm so happy you're here." She said happily.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her with my eyebrows raised.

"What I meant was that I'm happy you got here before it was to late." She said and her smile slowly began to fade.

"Don't talk like that, mom. You're going to be fine." I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, her or myself.

"Caitlin, you and I both know how sick I am." She said sadly. "But at least you're here to see me."

"I know how sick you are, but-" I began but stopped when my mother gripped my hands in hers.

"Caitlin, be strong, okay." As she said this she began coughing.

"Mom, please hold on." I begged. She was very weak and drowsy.

"I'm so happy, I know you're going to be happy. You're getting married soon and hopefully you'll have a family of your own one day." She began tearing up. "I just wish I could be there to see it."
At this point I had a stream of tears flowing down my face. But I had an idea.
"What if you could?" I suggested.

"Caitlin, you know-" she began.

"No, I know. But I have an idea." I looked over to Barry "will you stay with her I'll be right back?"

"Caitlin, do you really think you should be leaving her?" He asked.

"I'll be fine. Go do what you need." My mother told me. As soon as I was out of the room I began running as fast as I could down to my car.

About ten minutes later I walked back into the hospital room. This time I was in my wedding dress and had my hair neatly brushes with its slight natural curl. "Oh my god, you look gorgeous." She said and I could see her eyes begin to water.

" You might not be able to watch me walk down the aisle, but you can at least see me in my dress." I said walking over to her.

As I came closer and she could better see she covered her mouth with her hands and began crying. I sat back down next to her and asked "why are you crying?"

"Your father and brother would be so proud if they could see you now." She began coughing again and I could see how tired she was getting. She grabbed my hand and weakly whispered "I never blamed you for your brothers death. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like I did." She coughed again and "it wasn't your fault so don't blame yourself." A tear fell down the side of her face and she smiled at me before her eyes closed. The machine she was hooked up to began beeping. But to me everything was completely silent. It's like in that very moment the world around me just stopped as I stared and cried. I felt a hand on my shoulder and Barry said "Caitlin we need to get out." The doctors and nurses filled the room. I just ignored him and sat blankly. He pulled me up out of my chair which pulled me back into the real world. "Mom! Mom, please wake up!" I screamed. Barry and a doctor were trying to pull me out of the room but I fought to stay with her in hopes she would wake up. They finally pulled me out of the door and I instantly wrapped my arms around Barry. "She's gone!" I cried. He didn't say anything he just held me tight.