Avengers X-Reader Volume 1

Assholes All of You Final

Memories shimmered around me, blanketing my skin in a soft glow of sadness and glee. Sad voices called out to me begging for me to stay, urging me to come back. I could of sworn one of them was Loki's, but it couldn't be. I was dieing or dead, and I welcomed the opportunity to finally let go of all my pent up rage and sadness. The only thing that kept me standing right where I was, was the memories I had of Loki.
"Loki," I whispered.
I traced the abrupt lines of his face, marveling at how beautiful he was. I watched while he sat near one of the wide picture windows and read from one of the many books I had recommended. He was so stoic in his green and black attire, always so pensive, yet peaceful while he read. This particular memory the bright full moon made his black hair shine with different colors, and his green eyes almost an ethereal color of a lush forest. His pale skin took on a bluish glow, reminding me of his Joten lineage. That side of him never scared me, if anything it made me curious to see his blue skin and red eyes.
The pull to reach for him and connect to the god of mischief was there, but I no longer wanted to live in a world where I was alone. Call me selfish, but even among my dearest friends I always felt so solitary. I cared for them, loved them all, but not one of them understood the weariness I felt from fighting all my life. It was taxing, leaving me grasping at those around me for comfort, but never allowing them to give it too me.
"My lady....?" A strong voice made the clouds around me shimmer with green light.
I turned towards the voice, gasping when Loki walked out of the shadows, standing tall and still in his battle garb. His eyes went to the pictures dancing around us, tilting his head at the ones that starred him.
A small wisp of fear rushed thru me, "please tell me you made it, that our team made it out?"
"They did, they wait for you, as I do, in Asgard." He answered, still eyeing the memories that had him in them. "You still linger among the branches of Yigdrasil."
I blinked at what he said, not understanding, yet relaxing in his presence. "Are you really here?"
"I am, my lady." He replied, reaching up and lightly fingering a memory of him making tea. So many of them danced in front of us.
Of him reading, making his favorite tea.
Of him standing in front of the large picture windows overlooking the city.
Of him standing tall and proud in his green and black battle garb.
I didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed that he could see them, I wanted him to know everything before I finally said goodbye.
"I'm thankful that you are all safe." I sighed, trying to steel myself away from the pull emanating from him.
"So you mean to leave them then?" He asked, finally turning and meeting my eyes. "To leave me?"
I gasped, then watched his hand wave over my memories changing them. Tears wet my eyes when images of me laughing began to flicker in front of my face.
Then it changed, and I was sitting next to him while we read, into me fighting, displaying my strength and protection for him and my team.
He waved his hand one last time and I heard him yelling my name as the knife penetrated my side. It was heartbreaking to hear the pain in his voice. I watched while I tried to crawl towards him, only to call his name and ask him to shield our teammates.
My heart beat louder in my chest while he lifted me up onto his lap. My eyes widened when my confession finally left my mouth, '"I don't want to leave you."' I felt his heart thump in his chest and his inability to breath, while he held me.
'"You won't...I won't let you.."' Loki's words were full of conviction and strength.
"Loki," I gasped, taking a step back from him, shocked, and shaken by his own admission.
"Now both our secrets are out, and now you know why I cannot allow you to leave this world." His voice was rough, and his eyes sparkled.
A quick surge of anger poured into my heart, "cannot allow me?" I snapped, seething, "and what exactly am I going back too, god of mischief and lies? More death, more pain and loneliness. I have done my duty! Why would you... haven't I have sacrificed enough?!"
Cold hands grabbed my arms and held me still, while his green eyes broke thru my angry gaze. My disbelief at what I saw, the fear of not knowing had turned into anger, but his green eyes saw thru all that.
"I know weariness, and pain, more so than others, than most.." he growled, still holding me still. "But I am here my lady, still fighting, for you." He paused to let his words sink in, and to brush some hair off my forehead. "I once saw love, and compassion as weakness, only used by fools, like my brother.. I no longer believe that, and if you take my hand, I will show you."
My legs shook at his admission. I wanted to believe him, take a leap and fall into his arms, but thirty years of turmoil made me weary of confession.
"You're the god of lies, of mischief," I countered shakily, "did Steve or Thor order you to do this?"
A small smirk touched his lips, "I am much more than the god of lies princess, and my moronic brother and the man out of time do not give me orders. I am here for you, just as much as I am here for me." His lips roughly covered mine, pulling me into the chaos of his mind.
Everything I needed to know sat there waiting to be discovered. The undeniable love he wanted to give me, although new and frightening, had saturated his entire being. His fear, but also the strong need he experienced to bring me home, and his insatiable worry. All of it swallowed me with the taste of Loki, of wild and cold. His pull chained my heart to his, and while I could of stopped him, I didn't, losing myself in his dark essence.