Back In The Time : A Ginny Weasley / Marauder Fanfic

CHAPTER 48 (Part 1)

He was alone.

They had come again, persistent as ever. It was the sixth time they had approached him, the initially cordial demand had turned more and more forceful each time. The torture had started fourth time they came at his house. He despised coming home. He hated feeling weak and desperate. Well, weaker than usual anyway. That's the thing about being friends with Sirius, James and Remus - you can't shake off the feeling of being unnecessary, surplus. Specially for a mediocre student like himself, he should've felt blessed for having such friends. Initially, he was happy. He still treasured his friends, but somehow the bliss of being a Marauder had worn off in last five years. And ever since the Deatheaters had approached him last summer, he was beginning to wonder whether being a Marauder was a curse disguised as a blessing. If he had been just another starry-eyed student who looked up to the James-Sirius-Remus trio, maybe he wouldn't be living this nightmare.

He looked towards his hands - through the fresh bruises and scratches, he could see the lines - the wrinkles of loosing too much weight in short span of time. Maybe he could've gone to the Potter mansion as James had asked him to. But he was afraid. What if they followed him there? What if they killed James? Attacked his family?

Maybe he can just avoid joining the 'Order' after his Seventh year? No wonder, everyone will think he was a coward. But everyone already thought that, what difference would it make? Nothing. But again, he would be tortured relentlessly.

He hated being weak. He hated not being able to fight back. He hated being a coward. He hated being Wormtail.

He hated being Peter Pettigrew - the boy who followed.

Continuous door bangings followed him to his sleep, making his waking hours seem like a bliss, unless he was being tortured by the deatheaters to insanity. They fed him lies about how Marauders kept him around for show, urged him to turn against them to take revenge of every little jokes they had pulled on him. He remembered every snobby comment they ever made, every spell James had brilliantly casted, every girl Sirius every beautiful girl Sirius had ever dated, every test and tasks Remus had ever aced, everything they could do perfectly and he couldn't. He knew his negative emotions came from the continuous tortures and lies - but nowadays - he wasn't really sure if all of their friendship was roses and sunshine.

Every DE visit left him feeling more inferior, and more bitter. Being a spy didn't seem unthinkable anymore. He didn't care about many people in the world, much less about random strangers being killed. Only thing that still made him pause was the photograph of four Marauders on his table. They were the only four people in this world he still truly cared about.

He took a deep breath. He couldn't take this anymore. He had made up his mind.

He wasn't concerned with what Voldemort did to the muggles and muggleborns. Maybe he could strike up a deal - a deal involving safety of three people, none of whom were muggleborn.

Should be easy right?

He'll know soon enough.