The Girl Who Feared Men (SAMPLE)

Chapter 8: Deal With The Devil

Chase

How did I get here. I told myself I'd give up. For the past three days my sole purpose has been trying to win Megan's trust back. I had the mentality that one of my attempts would finally be enough to get her to forgive me but they haven't been. Now I'm standing in the middle of the sidewalk, drenched in a vanilla latte, and face to face with Ellie.

Two questions are burning inside me. How the fuck did I get here and why am I seriously considering Ellie's offer?

Why am I considering to help her with her phobia if she helps me win Megan back?

Let's rewind for a minute.

Day 1

"Chase. Chase. Chase. Chase," Cole continues to repeat over and over again.

I've been ignoring him for the past two days. I haven't replied to any texts or picked up any calls and I certainly didn't want to talk to him. I wasn't actually mad at him, the problem was that if I talked to him, he wouldn't let me rest until I spilled every detail related to how I came to the conclusion that I wanted Megan to like me again. I avoided sitting in the cafeteria today so I wouldn't have to see him, Devon, and Justin. As soon as the bell for lunch rang, I ran out of the school and walked to the park. I don't know how Cole knew I would be here, but he found me. When he realized I was giving him the silent treatment, he decided to resort to annoying the crap out of me.

"Chase. Chase. Chase," he continues.

I roll my eyes. "I'll talk to you on one condition."

"Anything," he heaves a sigh.

"You can't ask me why I didn't go to basketball practice on Friday. Also, you can't ask me how or why I needed Megan to like me again."

"Come on," he groans.

After Cole, Devon, and Justin's reaction when I'd told them about tutoring Olivia, I decided to keep babysitting Katie (my seven-year-old cousin) a secret. It's just easier that way.

"Do you agree to the terms or not?" I ask.

"Okay. I agree. But what do you mean by 'needed,' you aren't giving up, are you?"

"What do you think?" I say. It's obvious that I had ruined every ounce of the relationship I had with Megan so there's no point in continuing to try.

"I think you shouldn't give up," he says.

"Weren't you the same guy who said I had no chance with Megan because of all the horrible things I did to her?" I ask. "You even pointed them out to me for emphasis."

"I never said you had no chance with her. I said that you should have expected her to lash out like that. She liked you a lot, you know, there's no way she got rid of all of those feelings completely."

"I'll think about it."

"Okay. Just make sure that your feelings are real." He pauses. "If they aren't then you're going to end up hurting more than just Megan."

I know that they're real but I had already made up my mind. You can't make someone love you.

The problem is that I don't know what giving up means. Have I lost everything? Will I never be able to be the person that my mother wants me to be? I know that forcing Megan to like me isn't a good idea but was the alternative any better? My thoughts are jumbled and I don't know how to sort them out. I decide to think about this later, I had all the time in the world.

Cole and I get back to school just in time for third period. When I get to English, I plop myself down on a chair and for a moment I feel a wave of relief wash over me. My reputation took a blow after the scene that Megan and I created. Obviously, people still know better than to mess with me but that didn't stop a few idiots from making jokes about the event that took place. Sitting here, beside an empty desk, gives me a weird sense of comfort. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, I'm not being hounded by Cole, and I don't have to dodge anyone.