The Girl Who Feared Men (SAMPLE)

Chapter 17: Strike One

Ellie

Everyone always assumes that my Androphobia stems from one thing. One moment. One day. But that's not the case. In fact, that's almost never the case with girls who have Androphobia. It takes time for your brain to be completely rewired.

For me, it was 4 moments. 4 moments in my screwed up childhood created my Androphobia.

The first one happened in grade 1- when I was 6 years old. You see, I was an awkward kid. It wasn't concerning, it was actually quite common. I was just extremely shy and quiet and I didn't really know how to hold conversations with the other kids.

So I kept to myself.

The other children thought I was weird because I didn't talk to them so they stayed away from me.

But the boys...they decided to use my awkwardness to amuse themselves. They'd relentlessly pick on me. They'd pull my hair and push me to the ground and when they were done messing with me, they'd watch as I cried and they'd laugh.

The crazy thing is...the bullying isn't what got to me. It's not what made me believe all men are monsters. What messed me up happened after I'd run home to my mom and show her the bruises I'd gotten. To make me feel better, she'd give me ice cream, promise to talk to the teachers and tell me this one phrase...

"Maybe they like you."

Those words are what planted the seed in the darkest corner of my mind. Those words are what placed the glass divide between boys and girls in my head. The words resonated inside of me. They taught me that boys showed their affection through abuse and although I didn't understand what abuse was, I knew what pain was. My mother had linked the entire male species to the word pain. She let me believe that a boy treating me like absolute crap is justified by the simple fact that he probably likes me.

That's when I realized that I didn't like boys. I realized that they were mean. Like a virus, this idea slowly latched onto other parts of my brain. The virus was fueled by my mother telling me things like,

"Don't take candy from strange men."

"Don't talk to men you don't know."

Of course, these are things all parents tell their children from time to time but continuously telling me to stay away from "scary men" painted them as villains in my head. It made me feel like men were people who needed to feared.

And one day, for show and tell, we were asked to bring in an item we valued and show it to the class. I decided to bring in my most prized possession- my stuffed teddy bear. It was a gift from my dad and because he'd just recently passed away, I couldn't sleep without it by my side. I held the teddy bear tight all the way to school and placed him in the little cubby compartment I was given on the first day of school.

Big mistake.

When it was time for show and tell, we were asked to go grab our objects. As soon as one of the boys laid his eyes on my teddy bear, opportunity-filled his pea-sized brain. He grabbed my teddy from my hand and no matter how much I pleaded and begged he wouldn't give it back. Since the teacher was busy talking to the other children about their items, she didn't realize what was going on right under her nose. When the boy holding my teddy bear saw that I was on the verge of tears, he unzipped my teddy and began to remove the stuffing.

As I watched him destroy the one thing I cared about more than anything in the entire world...

I stood in shock. Mostly because I realized that the tears I was so sure would fall from my eyelids... didn't fall. I wasn't sad anymore.

I was enraged.

In that moment, I didn't just lose my teddy bear, I lost my dad again.

The boy had taken my spirit from me.

So I stomped over to him, grabbed his arm, and I bit him. Hard. No matter how loud he screamed, I wouldn't let go. In fact, I'd bite harder. I was fed up with letting boys get the better of me and I only unclenched my teeth from his arm to bite him again.

I didn't even stop after I tasted blood. By the time I was done with him, bite marks ran up and down his entire arm.

His screaming caught the attention of the teacher and once she saw my jaw attached to his arm, she quickly rushed to his aid. As the teacher pulled me away and dragged me to the principal's office, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

That was the day I learned that even though men were strong, I was stronger.

That was strike 1.

And I still had two more shots to go before I was out. 

--

A/N:

Please VOTE and comment!! I know this one was short, I'll try and upload next week!