The Girl Who Feared Men (SAMPLE)

Chapter 12: Getcha head in the game

A/N:

Please please please listen to this music video. Better yet, listen to Praying by Kesha, Rainbow by Kesha, AND Learn to Let Go by KESHA. Every time I write Ellie's chapters those are the songs I listen to!!! Kesha captures in her songs what I TRY to capture with my writing. If you want to understand Ellie, who she is, who she's trying to be...Then LISTEN TO THESE SONGS. 

(No, but seriously. I see you scrolling. Don't scroll. GO BACK AND LISTEN TO THE SONG. Please and thanks.)

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Ellie

I should have known better. That's the mantra I keep repeating to myself. I should have known that Chase and I couldn't work together! What the hell was I thinking?

Anger runs deep through my veins. I shared information about myself that shouldn't be taken lightly. In fact, I spilled more about myself in two minutes than I've ever shared in the past nine years! But what else was I supposed to do? Allow him to talk horribly about a man who had done nothing wrong? My dad loved me until his last dying breath and honestly, I'm used to people making assumptions and trying to connect the dots but not voicing them out so openly. No one ever had the nerve to be that disrespectful. Not to my face.

I'll admit, I'm a lot angrier at myself than I am at Chase. The truth of the matter is that I allowed my dad to become a scapegoat. This wasn't the first time people were suspicious about my relationship with my father. When people learn what my phobia's about, they have a tendency to automatically assume that my father has beaten me to a pulp for years. In my first few schools, I'd clear up the misunderstandings. That stopped once I realized that it's a lot better for them to believe their conspiracy theories than to have them finding out the truth. Because once they know how messed up I truly am, they won't be able to unknow it.

"You okay Ellie? You're kind of spacing out?" I hear Melanie's worried voice.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I smile at her.

We've just finished having our last practice for the first game of the season and I honestly couldn't be more nervous. Since the deal between me and Chase is off, I have no reason to be on the team and my initial instinct was to quit. But I changed my mind when I remembered that I begged Megan to give me this spot and it would be such a bitchy thing to do if I quit right before the game. Megan would never forgive me and I don't think I want her as my enemy. I figured that since I'm only temporary, I can just stay until Sonia comes back, which is three days from now.

"You sure? You've been spacing out all day."

Yeah, because I've been trying to figure out how it took me so long to realize that Chase is a massive piece of-

"I'm just getting cold feet, I guess." I shrug.

"You'd better warm those feet right back up because no one is going to cover your ass if you mess up," Zara scoffs as she closes her locker in the change room.

Zara's one of the friendlier cheerleaders on the team and that says a lot seeing as she's not exactly friendly.

At least, not to me.

Zara has long, black, wavy hair. She's one of the bigger girls on the cheerleading team but her thickness definitely adds to her beauty. She also wears a lot of makeup but so does everyone else on the team.