Us Against The World ｡ Peter Parker [2]

16 - The Cold Hard Truth

The truth hurt sometimes and that pain was numbing; it was a brutal flood of emotions that could suck the light from your soul. We liked to claim we always wanted the truth, that there was some universal desire to know the truth, and not be weighed down with lies. But sometimes, lies were much easier to deal with. Because sometimes, the cold hard truth simply destroyed you.

"I'm feeling really good about our exams this week," Gwen was saying Monday afternoon as we exited Midtown High, the afternoon light warm against my skin. Our end of semester finals were upon us with only a week left of the school year. The weeks had gone too quickly, and now there was a doubt filling my chest knowing my grades might not shine bright with everything going on lately. "I aced my last pop quiz for Spanish, and Flash has been helping me study."

There was a bitterness in my heart, "That's really great, Gwen." 

Gwen noticed the snap, but didn't say anything, didn't even blink an eye. She knew something was going on in my life, something I hadn't mentioned lately. She was clever like that, always noticing the little things. We had been friends for years and naturally she knew something was bothering me, but she also knew I wouldn't talk about it, which was why she didn't press the wound too harshly. "Summer vacation is so close, I can practice taste the freedom!" Gwen went on, pushing away my foul mood. 

There was a tightness in my chest, seeing her bright eyes and brilliant smile. I realised that out of all my friends, I wanted to be in her shoes right now. She didn't have dreadful powers on her shoulders, wasn't keeping any secrets, didn't have grief on her heart and didn't have the feeling of being unwanted and lost either. She was honestly just happy, and I would have traded anything to be that happy again. Suddenly, I was not only feeling bitter and jealous about her own happiness, I felt terrible about not telling her or the others about what was really going on in my life. I honestly felt like a lousy friend for lying to her, and for slightly envying her about being so happy. 

"--my parents are spending a few weeks in the Hamptons, did you want to come? I thought about inviting Mary Jane and the others too, since it could be fun. You know, before school starts back and we're sophomores." her chipper voice was still babbling on but my attention snapped, spotting Peter waiting at a lonely table in the courtyard. He tilted his head, giving me a slight smile and silently telling me he wanted to speak with me privately. 

My hand touched Gwen's arm, a friendly way to say goodbye. "Yeah, that sounds fun. I'll ask my parents." her eyes fell upon Peter too, her lips turning up in a familiar grin. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

Gwen was humming out a response as I slowly headed over to where he was waiting for me. The last few days had been quiet, everything still a little fresh in my mind and heart. Cindy Moon had not been gone for long, but she still sat in my mind, along with the kiss. I didn't blame them for what had happened, it was just another strange thing to do with their powers, but it was still burnt into my skull. 

When I finally reached him, he was sitting on the table top, his shoes placed on the seat. I wanted to reach for him, just to simply hold his hand, to remind myself that his was the very same boy who had helped me through the heartache last year with my brother. He was the same boy that soothed my mind at nights and liked me even when I didn't like myself. 

"Hey, you." his voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He had stayed away from me, trying to be respectful about my wishes. He might have been keeping his distance, but I noticed the red and blue blur in the streets when I walked home in the late afternoons. He couldn't be walking beside me himself, our hands linked together as we joked about something mundane, so he swung above me, making sure I got home safely. 

I pushed some hair away from my face, blowing out a sigh. "I didn't see you in first period, is everything alright?" Despite not speaking with him every second of the day, I noticed when he wasn't around.