Merlin - One shots

Xx Short Story xX

AN: If your here for sexy Merlin move to next chapter <3

I wake up and already know that today was going to be another flat day. Like most days and flat day is a day in which very little interesting stuff happens. Grandma doesn't die, Bessie the dog doesn't bite the neighbour, the milkman won't even forget Bessie is mental and try and deliver to the door. A flat day is boring and a boring day sucks.

Sure tomorrow might have something extraordinary inside it, but what's the point in waiting all day to find out? It seemed unclear what the true answer and nothing came to mind as I sat staring into a murky abyss of burnt porridge and yogurt.

I take a plastic fork beside me and stir the concoction in thought. What if life was designed for a greater purpose, the actions of today influencing the actions of tomorrow? Hell I could do something today which leads to Bessie flying tomorrow. Now that would be hella interesting.

"You gonna keep stirring or just eat the shit?" The flat pan unimpressed voice of my wonderful best friend cut my line of thought. The fork stops its rhythmic swim through the grim food and takes a breather, I look up and try not to gape.

The bush was gone. The afro of dreams, the pillow for a head, the mighty bush. Shaved. Gone. WHOOSH. ABRACADABRA YOUR BUSH HAS VANISHED. She looked like a man missing a part of her body.

I found no words to describe my shock, the simple laugh and scratch of her head was enough to confirm the reality and enormity of the situation. "No... Bush." I manage after what felt like a month of quiet.

"Congrats for pointing out the obvious you twat," She tut and grabs my arm, dragging me towards the door and school and ignoring my complaints above the nutritious value of everyday slop. My mum yelled goodbye to Hannah from upstairs and something about a nice day at school but it does nothing to stop our charge through my home.

The sun was hidden behind rows upon rows of grey clouds, despite this I still had to squint against the bright light. I probably should have opened a curtain before stepping into the average light of Britain. "Looks like it's going to rain. We should hurry up!" Hannah commented, also staring at the terrifying buckets of water hovering above our heads like sacks of potatoes.

Walking to school is always interesting, well mildly entertaining is probably a better description. It was an open game of count the druggies and hung-over people on the way to school. The current highest total was ten and today the grand score was 5, average really.

Then, once in the city park it was discussion of Hannah's likelihood of asking me on a date, usually starting with - "Imagine, just imagine for one second, they we went to the movies, dipped our hands in the popcorn at the same time and then had sex right there and then." we both found it hilarious for kissing your best friend - as cute as it may sound - is weird and stupid. Somehow the concept was funny no matter when it came up, be it class, wedding or funeral (perhaps not the funeral).

Today the walk to school brought us right to the corner shop, where Hannah spent soo long deciding between two packets of sweets that I brought a bag of Wine-Gums and left without her.

After three minutes the unfamiliar no bush came charging round the bend carrying six bags of sweets, two cans of pop and about seven different packets of gum. As per usual she hadn't asked for a bag and was balancing it all in her armpits, a box of eggs sat on the top, I have no idea why she brought eggs but wasn't going to ask.

I grin, "You can cut off the blood in your arm doing that you plank."

"Well be the wonderful gentleman your mother thinks you are and carry some stuff." She replies huffing, then almost dropping the box of eggs.

"You brought all that stuff I ain't helping."

Somehow I end up carrying everything in my school bag and Hannah chews on gum feeling light as a feather. How does this always happen?

We were almost at school now, for once, not late but just in time to watch the stereotypical students file into the building. Nerds, followed by Geeks followed by Idiots. Unlike what seems to be every American school in the movies, the Nerds and Geeks don't look in anyway cute or cuddly. Instead, oily, spotty, kids with a vocal range the length of the London Underground. They were also rude to outsiders.

Then came the girl groups, all seemingly always to be near hysterics about something, half high and always more skin showing than uniform. Nearly all of them can't hold the same conversation for more than three seconds and the word 'like' has become a word descended from heaven used to describe any scenario no matter what.

Hannah makes a noise - difficult to describe but a dog choking on a brick might be accurate - and points towards a pair wondering towards the school holding hands.

"You owe me Five Quid." She says jumping up and down in excitement, knowing her it's not the pair (Nancy the bookworm and Jake the leader of the football team) that makes her become Tiger from Whinne the Pooh but the prospect of winning five pounds.

"Did not see that coming." I say struggling to scratch my head over the weight of this bag.

Hannah tuts, "Sure you did, do you not read teen flicks or watch shit American films?" I shake my head in confusion and she gasps, "Tonight Mummy Hannah is reading you a bedtime story you will never forget."

"More likely, tonight Daddy Benjamin will have to put Socks into his bed and sleep on the couch because she can't stay awake past ten o'clock." The statement earns a punch and snort but we both know it's true so the conversation ends.

The bell for form rings as we reach the school, a quick twenty second long handshake occurs and then I am forced to race up four flights of stairs to my form room only arriving a minute late. The rest of the class were already sat and chatting but for the most part ignore me. A couple of lads at the back of the class who were deep in a whispered conversation, stop to wave me over and invite me to sit, which I gladly took.

"Dude did you hear?" A kid called Cliff Hange whispers, his fingers tapping on his leg like he desperately needs the toilet. "About Nancy and Jake?"

AN: What do you think?

Use the votes and comment section to tell me and maybe I will publish a whole lot more of these kind of things. Also this story has three parts it doesn't just end there. 
More Merlin next! Sorry if this wasn't what you came for xD

Thank you so much for reading!

Kitty out!

^,~