UNCERTAINTY (boyxboy)

THIRTEEN

I happily reflect back on the wonderful dinner my family and Garreth had as we sit on my sofa with my back pressed tightly to his chest as he mindlessly rubs my very full belly.  Mom went all out and made a mouth watering meal to quote Garreth.

I am not sure what happened upstairs to make my father 's attitude change but he certainly did and the evening went off without a hitch.  As a matter of fact, he and Garreth got along famously and to look at them now you would think they were old friends.

In this moment, I have never been happier.  My parents have retired for the evening and not wanting to make my parents feel weird about us being in my room, Garreth insisted we just settle ourselves in the living room and just make out some.  I giggle at the thought.

"What is so funny baby?"  "Nothing.  I am just really happy that tonight went so well."  "I believe a lot of that had to do with the fact that you scared the shit out of all of us earlier."  Feeling remorseful I say, "I am sorry about that." 

"You do not have anything to be sorry for.  I am just glad that you are okay.  Honestly Albert you really scared the shit out of me.  I think my heart stopped for a bit when we found you passed out on your bedroom floor."

I turn slightly into his chest and look up into his eyes.  I can feel it.  I can feel all of his emotions.  I can feel the care, worry, awe, and dare I say it...I think I may even feel love.  Could it be?  Could it be that this wonderful and amazing man loves someone like me?

He leans down slightly to give me a very gentle nibble on my lips but all that does is set me off.  Every inch of my body is aroused by him.  He looks deeply into my eyes as he says, "Yes baby, I do love you.  More than I ever thought possible."

I must look like a fish out of water as I try to form words but just open and close my mouth repeatedly in shock.  "Shh."  He says while delicately rubbing his thumb against my bottom lip.  "I did not say it expecting you to declare yourself as well.  When you are ready, if you feel the same as I do, I will relish those words once they freely leave your lips!"

So out of character for me, I feel the first tear fall from one of my eyes as the other begins to fill up.  I am so overcome by everything I am experiencing inside of me.  I feel his thumb wipe away my tear as he says, "I hope my words have not caused you any distress."  "No.  No you did nothing wrong.  If anything Garreth, you are just wonderful.  It is going to take me some time to get used to all of this but I need you to know that what I am feeling inside, I have never felt for another person."

My words seem to have put a smile on his face and it warms my heart.  I need to sort out so much in my head, my heart, my life as I am now more certain than ever that I need Garreth to be a part of my life.  I now cannot imagine a future without him in it.

I am pulled out of my thoughts by the sensual lips of my boyfriend pressing against my own.  As he helps me up from the sofa he says, "I have to go.  It is getting late and I do not want to upset your father in any way.  I have a feeling it is a miracle he even likes me."  

I start laughing as I nod my head in agreement.  I walk my man to the door and as I open it for him he turns to me and takes my face into both of his hands as he plants one hell of a mouth watering breath stealing kiss on me.  Oh God,  my brain is now fried I think to myself.

After a minute or so, he finally lets my lips go and with one final caress to the side of my face, as he departs he says, "Sweet dreams baby.  I will talk to you tomorrow."  With a ridiculously large cheesy smile covering my entire face I say, "You too babe."

I close the door and turn around and am scared literally out of my skin by my father's presence behind me.  He is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.  He has a big smile on his face.

"Come into the living room.  Let us talk."  he says.  I knew it was too good to be true.  I take a deep sigh inward as I follow him into the living room and plant myself over dramatically in one of the side chairs.

He starts quietly laughing at my antics.  "Albert, cut it out.  I did not call you in here to complain or pass judgement despite what you may believe."  " Then why are we here?"  "I know that I put up a combative front when in regards to Garreth.  You are my son, my only child and I may sometimes get a bit overprotective."

"Ha, no really!"  I say rather loudly but he responds with, "Do not sash me and let me finish."  "Fine!"  I say as I cross my arms over my chest much like he does.  "Albert, I would have concern for you in any relationship you would have eventually had.  It is in my nature and I will not apologize for it.  I am your father and if I did not behave in this manner then I would not be a very good one would I?"

I shake my head in agreement.  "I became more apprehensive when you made it clear what your sexuality was and then there was this big, brooding and somewhat scary looking guy in your life.  All kinds of thoughts and scenarios kept running through my head but do you know when all of that changed?"

"When?"  "The moment right before I came into your room with the ice pack for your head.  I saw a man so consumed with worry.  I saw a very large man, tenderly holding my son in his arms with a look of pure adoration, devotion, love."

My father leans forward and takes both of my hands into his and says, "It calms the heart to know that you have someone who obviously feels about you the way I do for your mother.  In him, I see no need to worry as he will do anything, be anything you wish."

"Dad, earlier he told me that he loves me but I did not tell him what I am feeling."  "Why?"  "I do not know how I feel but dad, all I know is that a life without Garreth is no life at all."  My father smiles at me and says, "When your heart is completely certain and the time is right, you will know when to declare your love for him and before you protest let me remind you son, I know you better than any one else and you may not believe it yet, but you do love him.  No one has even peaked your interest before and with how quickly things have moved between you two, I naturally worried but no more."

I give my father a tear filled look as I say, "Dad, I am scared."  "Of what son?"  "Of all of it.  I have no clue if I am doing any of this right.  I have doubtful thoughts going through my head and why in the world would this amazing man even be interested in me?"

My father smiles as he says, "Because he sees  what your mother and I see and do not ask me to explain it.  Talk to him.  Tell him what is going on in that brilliant mind of yours and you might be surprised by what occurs."

Then he gets up, bends down to kiss me on the forehead and leaves me to my thoughts...