Now I Can See Your Pain { J-Dog x Deuce }

Chapter 3

Aron's POV

I woke up to bright lights and the sound of moniters behind me.

There was another sound....muffled sobbing.

I tried to sit up but my body was too weak.

I turned my head, wincing in pain as I looked over to see Jorel sitting next to me.

He sat with his head in his hands, curled into a ball.

"j-jorel?..... " I murmured, my voice raspy and barely above a whisper.

" Aron? Oh my god! You're awake!" he cried out, looking at me with puffy, sad eyes.

"w-where am...I?... " I asked.

" you're in the hospital. You collapsed and passed out yesterday while we were walking along the Boulevard. " he replied, scooching his chair closer to my bed.

"....oh.... " I murmured.

I felt him grip onto my hand so I weakly gripped back.

I winced when I felt him run his thumb over my scars.

" Aron?.....why are you doing this to yourself?... " he asked, his voice cracking.

I didn't reply though.

" You....you're not only hurting yourself.....you're hurting me. I hate seeing you this way, so frail and tired. It makes me scared to touch you at all because I feel like you're going to shatter to a million pieces " Jorel said, his voice cracking more and tears filling his eyes.

"I.....I....I'm sorry.... " I murmured.

" I know...but sorry isn't going to fix it if you die on me. Aron, I can't fucking lose you! " he replied.

" I know that Jorel!" I snapped all of a sudden.

" damn Aron,  no need to get pissy with me. I'm only trying to help with what's best for you " Jorel replied bitterly.

" best for me? You think you know what's best for me? " I snarled, my voice still raspy.

" of course I do!"

" if you knew what's best for me I wouldn't be in this god damned hospital at the moment! I wouldn't have ever been here all those years ago and the many other times for trying to fucking kill myself! You don't know what the fuck is best for me so I don't wanna hear it!"

He just stared at me, a look of bewilderment on his face.

" Aron, I'm sorry. I didn't meant it like that. You're right, I don't know where best for you. I was just trying to help though " Jorel said after a few minutes of silence.

" No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I just....I'm just so stressed.... " I murmured, messing with my hospital bracelet.

I felt Jorel grip my hand, giving me a reassuring smile.

I gripped back, giving a fake smile.

I started to feel lightheaded again so I layed back as much as I could.

"I'm....I'm gonna go to sleep..... " I mumbled, closing my eyes.

I was out like a light in a few minutes.

~

" hey Jorel?" I asked, looking over at him.

" yeah Aron?" he replied as we walked down the street.

" can I...can I tell you something? It's really important. " I said.

" sure I guess" jorel mumbled.

I stopped the both of us and turned so I was facing him.

" okay....please....please don't be mad or upset with me" I pleaded.

" of course not " he replied.

" Jorel I......I love you....and....and not like brotherly love. Jorel, I'm in love with you " I said quietly, my gaze meeting with his.

He just stood there, looking at me.

All of a sudden he pushed me away, a look of disgust on his face.

" get away from me you fucking fag! You're disgusting! " he snapped, shoving me away again.

" Jorel please!" I cried out as he stormed off down the street.

~

I woke up, sweating and hyperventilating.

The room was dark and it seemed like I was alone.

" J-Jorel?!" I cried out shakily.

" Aron.....it's like one in the morning. Go back to sleep " Jorel murmured, still half asleep.

"n-no....I...I can't....I..I don't...w-want t-to.... " I stammered.

He flipped on a light, seeing my tear stained and frightened face.

" Ar? What happened? What's wrong?" he asked, getting up and sitting on the side of my hospital bed.

"...I....I had a n-nightmare.... " I murmured.

" what was it about?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"...y-you...h-hated me..... "

" aww....Aron. You know I could never hate you " he said, moving so that he was sitting next to me.

Jorel wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.

" I would never hate you....No matter how fucked up you think you are, you'll always be amazing to me" Jorel cooed.

" y-you don't know that. W-what if I d-do something and a-all of you h-hate me?"

" that'll never happen. "