Now I Can See Your Pain { J-Dog x Deuce }

Chapter 14

Jorel's POV

It had been a few days since Aron was released from the hospital.

He seemed a bit happier the first two days but then he started to get worse and worse.

I could tell he was cutting again.

I didn't know why though.

I thought telling him how I felt would maybe make him more happy.

I guess I was wrong though.

I sat with him in my arms, his head resting against my shoulder.

"....wanna tell me what's bothering you lately?.. " I asked quietly.

He stayed silent.

"....please... "

He still wouldn't talk.

"...aron please....I just want to help you.... "

I still didn't get an answer.

" Aron please....what's on your mind?... "

"...I....I just can't do it anymore J-Jorel.....I d-don't wanna l-live anymore.... " he finally choked out.

He looked at me with tear filled eyes.

" don't say that Aron. Of course you still want to be alive. " I spoke.

" No j-jorel. No I don't I....I don't wanna live....I just wanna be fucking six feat under.......w-why couldn't you have just let me die?!" he cried out.

" because Aron, I'm not gonna sit here and watch you fucking die! Every time you just yourself you're hurting me too!"

" well then maybe you shouldn't fucking care about me! Maybe you should just kick me out of your life and get back with Vanessa because in worthless! You deserve so much better than a piece of shit like me! "

" I'm not going to kick you out of my god damn life! I have to be here to help you!"

" well maybe I don't want you to help me anymore! Maybe I just wanna fucking die!"

" I'm not letting you die!"

" well maybe you don't have a fucking choice! "

" it's not happening!"

" maybe if you spent a day in my shoes you would understand. You'd finally see my pain!"

" Aron, I already see your pain"

" no you fucking don't! No one does! None of you understand what it's like to be me!"

" you're right. I don't. Why don't you let me understand then "

" because you don't want to know what goes through my head. If you did you'd want to kill yourself too!"

I watched as he got up, heading for the door.

" don't you dare fucking leave!" I growled.

" fuck you Jorel, I'll leave if I fucking want to. Besides, it means I'm out of your hair and you don't have to listen to me whine and complain anymore " he shouted, walking out of my house and slamming the door behind himself.

I put my head in my hands, sighing quietly.

" why did I fucking do that? Now he's fucking gone because I let my anger take over " I muttered to myself.

I pulled out my phone, dialing his number.

"shit... " I muttered when I heard his ringtone coming from my room.

He's gone now and I can't do anything about it.

" what the fuck have I done?" I mumbled, getting up.