Now I Can See Your Pain { J-Dog x Deuce }

Chapter 19

Jorel's POV

I woke up at about four thirty in the morning to my phone ringing.

I looked to see I had a bunch of messages from the guys and Jeff.

He was the one calling.

I answered the phone.

"...hello?.... " I murmured, my voice groggy.

" is Aron with you? " Jeff asked, sounding panicky.

" No....why?"

" he's missing. No one else has seen him and he's not at my place. "

"....when did you last see him?.... "

" a few hours ago. I fell asleep on the couch while he was watching tv but when I woke up to go to the bathroom he was gone. "

" I'll go look for him. "

I hung up and quickly got out of bed, slipping some pants on and a sweatshirt.

I grabbed my car keys and got my shoes on, running out of my house.

I started my car and got in, dialing Aron's number as I pulled out of the driveway.

I got no answer so I tried again.

Still nothing.

I began to worry a lot more, thinking about the possibilities as to where he is and what he's doing.

I drove around LA for the next hour or so, looking around to see if I could spot Aron.

As I was driving past some stores my phone started to ring.

I quickly answered, seeing Aron's contact pop up.

" Aron! Where the hell are you?!"

"....j-jorel......I'm...I'm...s-sorry...... " was all he said before he hung up.

" God fucking damnit!" I shouted, slamming my fist on the steering wheel which only drew attention to me because of the car horn.

I didn't know what he was doing but I knew it wasn't good.

I started driving towards the more broken down part of LA.

My mind was racing as I drove, I could barely focus.

Aron's POV

Tears stung my eyes as I climbed up the fire escape.

I made it to the roof, sniffling a bit.

I wiped my tears with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and walked across the roof of one broken down apartment building on the block.

I just stood on the ledge, lighting my last cigarette.

I took a long drag, letting out one of my last clouds of smoke.

I stood there for a few minutes, finishing my last cigarette.

I stomped it out and took out my pack of cigarettes as well as my lighter.

I set them next to me.

The wind blew my hair all over as I stood there, looking out at all the city lights in the distance.

Jorel had called me while I was walking around, enjoying my last moments.

I didn't answer though.

I sighed, tears falling down my cheeks.

I knew Jorel would never forgive me for this but I can't take it anymore.

I'm not strong enough to go on any longer.

I took my phone out, dailing Jorel's number.

" Aron! Where the hell are you?!" he snapped.

"....j-jorel.....I'm....I'm...s-sorry.... " I stuttered shakily into the speaker before hanging up.

I wasn't going to jump just yet but I will. Eventually.

I just stood there, letting the wind nip at my face as tears fell.

I stayed that way for awhile, shivering every now and then.

I didn't even realize I'd zoned out till the sound of a car pulling up snapped me back to reality.

I watched the car, recognizing it as Jorel's.

"...shit.... " I mumbled to myself.

I shuffled more towards the edge.

" Aron! Don't jump!" Jorel shouted up at me.

".....I have to, Jorel......I.....I can't do it anymore......." My voice was shaky as well as the rest of me.

Jorel didn't say a word as he ran to the side of the building.

I assumed to climb onto the roof as well.

I just stood there, almost off the edge.

".....Aron please......don't do this.... " Jorel spoke, approaching me with his hand out.

"...I....I'm sorry, Jorel..... " I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He still walked towards me.

" please. "

" I have to. "

" No, you don't. Aron, you don't have to jump. "

" have you not listened to a word I said?! I can't fucking do it anymore, Jorel! I'm so over pretending to be happy, pretending that I'm not breaking down inside! I just can't do it!"

" I do listen. I'm trying to tell you that I will be there for you. I will listen any time you feel like killing yourself. I will hold you and comfort you till you don't have those thoughts anymore. You can call me at three in the morning because you need someone to talk to. I don't care, I just want you alive. "

I stayed silent, tears falling down my cheeks still.

Jorel took my hand, pulling me off the ledge and into his arms.

I just buried myself in his chest, crying quietly.

I felt Jorel rubbing my back as I cried into his chest.

We both sat down on the roof.

He pulled me into his lap, still rubbing my back.

We just sat the way till the sun rose, sitting in silence.