Now I Can See Your Pain { J-Dog x Deuce }

Chapter 10

Jorel's POV

I wasn't able to see him till a few hours after he'd gotten put in the ICU.

They told me that he'd lost a lot of blood and it was a very slim chance he'd make it through the night.

Once I was able to see him I rushed to his room.

The guys didn't follow, knowing I needed to be by myself with Aron for a little while.

I reached his room, taking careful steps inside.

I shut the door gently behind myself.

The room was silent except for the slow beeps of the heart moniter.

I walked over, kneeling down beside his bed.

I gently grasped his hand, being careful not to hurt him.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes as I looked at his frail body laying in that hospital bed.

" Aron...I'm so sorry... " I spoke, my voice cracking.

" I...I know you might not be able to hear me but I'm...I'm still g-going to..to...speak to you...  "

"...I...I broke our promise. I wasn't there for you....I...didn't help you....because you wouldn't let me. I didn't push hard enough though. I should've helped you anyways. I shouldn't have given up so easily. I'm not going to make that mistake again though. I'm not giving up on you. I know you can fight this, I know you can make it. I'm not saying this just  because you're my best friend....I'm saying this because I love you...more than you can imagine. "

At this point, tears were falling down my cheeks and onto the floor and his hand.

" I've been close to losing you before....never this close though. You don't know how scared I am right now....scared that I'm going to get a call telling me you're dead or to wake up only to find the heart moniter making one long beeping sound. "

I carefully ran my thumb over his hand.

" I can't lose you....I love you too much....I should've told you...I should've said something years ago. Maybe this wouldn't of happened. I just...I know now that if you make it I'm going to tell you everyday that I love you. I don't even care if we're in a relationship or not I'm still going to tell you I love you. If you do end up dying I'll visit your grave every chance I get and tell you I love you. " I choked out.

" I just....I need you to be alive though....I need you in general. Life without you would suck. It was horrible even when you were so upset this past month or two because you were rarely around. I don't want a life without you Aron, I really don't "

I stood up, still gently holding his hand.

" Aron I love you so fucking much...and...and I don't want to lose you. This is all my fault and I couldn't live with myself if you died. We all need you alive. The fans. The guys.....me.... I need you more than anyone.... " I sobbed out.

I gently cupped his cheek with my hand.

His skin was pale and his chest barely moved when he would breath.

I pushed his bangs out of his face, a few tears falling from my eyes.

" please Aron....You have to be alive.....You can make it....I know you can... " I pleaded.

~

I never left his side through the night.

I ended up falling asleep in a chair next to his bed.

I was woken up by something in the middle of the night though.

I opened my eyes, looking around the dark room.

My eyes went wide when I finally heard the sound.

The moniter went from slow, small beeps to just one long beep.

Aron was dying.