Wonderland [WWE] [Shawn Michaels] {Book 1}

Chapter 10: I Fucked Sunny

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Shawn's POV
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"Are you sure about this? It was a one time thing, Paul. It's never happening again. She doesn't even have to know it happened at all," I argued. I knew that was bullshit, but I really didn't want to do this.

"If you keep this bottled up, it's going to eat away at you," Paul told me. "Just grow a pair and tell her."

I took a deep breath in an attempt to settle my nerves. They were going haywire. I couldn't tell her, but I couldn't not tell her. Paul was right; it was already eating away at me.

Kat knocked on the door, wanting to know if we were ready. I opened it, but as soon as I looked at her, I was petrified. I couldn't take all this pressure. This was going to crush her.

Kat, being Kat, was concerned for my well-being. She asked if I was okay, snapping me out of my trance.

"Uh, we need to talk," I declared.

Her brow furrowed as I let her step into the room. Why did worry look so much better on her than anyone else?

Paul cleared his throat and grabbed his bag. "I'll meet you guys in the car." He gave me a look as he left.

I motioned for Kat to take a seat. She did so without ever letting her eyes leave mine. I had to look away to break her gaze. I stared at the floor, trying to decide how to start, as she only grew more nervous.

"Shawn, what's going on?" I could hear the anxiousness in her voice. She was sitting on the edge of her seat waiting for me to say something, anything. Her eyes held that pure innocence that had drawn me to her.

I couldn't do this. I could not do this. Staring into those eyes that held so much trust, I couldn't crush that hope she had.

"I, uh," I scratched the back of my neck nervously. I was sweating bullets. "It's nothing. Something dumb. Don't worry about it."

She was confused, and rightly so.

"I'm sorry I even got you all worked up. Paul's waiting, so we should probably go."

"...okay," she muttered, unsure. "You can tell me anything," she told me, standing.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. It wasn't important, I promise," I lied.

***

We stopped at a rest stop so Kat could use the bathroom. Paul and I switched places so I could drive for a while and give him a break. I drummed my fingers on the wheel as we waited.

"She seems to be taking it well," Paul said, raising a brow at me.

His sentence jolted me out of the blissful avoidance I had been enjoying. I cleared my throat just as a lump started reforming there. "She's not taking it... because I didn't tell her."

"Shit, Shawn," he exclaimed, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. He had to be so done with me. I don't know what I would do without Paul. "Why didn't you tell her?"

I sighed. "I... I don't know. She was looking up at me those big doe eyes and I... I just couldn't, y'know? What if she hates me after I tell her? I fucked up, Paul. I really fucked up this time."

"I know, Shawn. Calm down. You have to tell her eventually. She's not going to hate you," he told me.

"But--"

I was cut off by Kat climbing back into the car. I shut my mouth immediately and tried to focus my thoughts on something else.

"Hey guys," she chirped. Unfortunately she'd already seen my face. "What's up?"