Wonderland [WWE] [Shawn Michaels] {Book 1}

Chapter 53: You Won't Be Alone

[Paul]

I was worried about Kat. She was getting the worst of Shawn's shit, which she definitely didn't deserve.

Kat was bright, happy, and fun before Christmas. That was when shit went downhill.

I barely recognized her anymore. She was constantly stressed or worried, and she took it upon herself to feel all the regret Shawn should have been feeling.

She didn't get that his life and his choices were not her fault. For some reason, she felt responsible for him.

I tried to tell her Shawn needed to face the consequences of his actions eventually on his own, but she wouldn't listen.

One day in particular Kat seemed to be over thinking something when we were at the gym. She hardly lifted anything, mostly just using the time to stare off into space and think. I confronted her about it, as a friend that just wanted to help.

"It's nothing, really. I'm fine."

I could see right through that lie. She wasn't fine.

"No you're not. Just tell me, Kat. I'm not going to hate you for it."

"Not here. Can we go back to the hotel first?" It seemed it was a secret she didn't want overheard.

I agreed, and as soon as we got back to my hotel room, I wanted answers.

"I--I just can't believe it. I don't know how to feel," she said.

"Whatever it is, Kat, I'm right here. You know you can tell me anything." I was trying to let her know I was being sincere. I would help Kat with anything if she just asked.

"Okay, I've just got to spit it out before I go crazy." She took a deep breath before starting. "I'm pregnant."

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it for sure was not that. This changed things.

This would change both of their lives.

All of our lives, if I was being honest.

"Wow," I breathed. "I mean, congratulations. What did Shawn say?"

She didn't say anything. She stared down at her hands in her lap, twirling her ring around her finger.

Kat had developed a habit of doing that, I noticed, even though Shawn called off the wedding.

"You haven't told him," I realized. Looking at her for a few more seconds, I added, "...And you're not going to."

She nodded, and the tears started to fall. "I just... I can't do it. I don't know what he'll say; I can't predict him anymore." She looked back up at me. "I'm scared, Paul."

"Of Shawn? Come on, Kat, you know even at his worst, he could never think of hurting you. In any way." I thought about the other night, and added, "If he ever tried, I'd set him fucking straight."

"Not of him. Of the fact that I don't know where his head is right now. It feels like every day I turn on the radio and hear about another wrestler overdosing, and all I can think about every time is that he could be one of them. Every day I'm scared that I'll roll over and he won't be there." She was sobbing, just glad to get it off her chest.

I pulled her closer, trying to comfort her. It was no use, but I still had to try. "He'll be alright."

"You don't know that," She snapped. I don't think she meant to, so I didn't think twice of it. Besides, she deserved to be upset. "None of us do. We don't even know if he's going to work 'Mania. And what am I supposed to do if something happens to him?" She softened her voice to a whisper. "I'm only 22 years old, Paul. What am I supposed to do with a baby?"

"You'll be a wonderful mom. Plus you've got so many people to help you. Your family, me and Joanie, the boys... you're surrounded by people that care about you. You won't be alone." Kat would have no problems raising a child, with or without Shawn.

I was starting to think it might be without.

"What if I lose it? Like, like I did the last one?" She sounded so scared. She deserved so much better than this.

"You won't. That was a one in a lifetime accident that won't happen again. It will be okay," I promised, knowing I didn't have any actual proof of this.

It didn't matter. What mattered was that Kat believed it.

She nodded and attempted to wipe the tears away from her face. "Please, don't tell anyone yet? I needed to tell someone, but... I'm not ready for everyone to know. Especially Shawn."

"My lips are sealed," I told her. "He won't hear it from me."

"Thanks," she whispered. I was tempted to leave her alone with her thoughts, but I needed to say more.

I didn't want to get in the middle of the relationship of my two best friends, but someone needed to say it. They weren't working out anymore. I wouldn't say it was a lost cause, but... it didn't look good.

It was just added stress for the both of them.

"Hey, just... don't turn this into a reason you have to stay," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"If Shawn is making you feel like shit all the time, you don't have to stay with him. You don't need anyone else to lean on, Kat, you're your own person. You've grown so much over the past couple years, it's honestly incredible."

"I..." She didn't know what to say, but that was okay. I didn't expect her to.

"You don't have to break up with him just because I said to either. I'm saying, don't stay in it if you don't want just because of this. This doesn't tie you to him."

"I can't raise a baby on my own."

"Yes, you can." She couldn't see how strong she was, but the rest of us could. "I mean, do you really think Shawn is going to be father of the year? He doesn't know any better than you."

"He's still their father."

"Yet you won't even tell him about it."

My words had the opposite effect I wanted them to, upsetting her even more.

"I don't know, okay. I don't know what I'm going to do. Can I have some time to think about and for myself just this once?" she asked. I was sure this was a lot of stress on her.

I hadn't meant to add to that load, I just wanted her to know her options. I didn't want Kat to keep following Shawn if her heart wasn't in it anymore.

All she would get in return would be a lot of heartbreak. She had enough of that already.

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-A/N-
I just finished this at 1 am so like sorry it's not great.
I know you're all shook but uhhhh we got 2 chapters to go, folks.

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General PSA: idk if yall know this but I don't read these before I post them. I thought I might as well share that with you now that the book is almost over.