R(WBY)ed vs Blue: New Colors

Chapter 10: Lay Of The Land

Third Person P.O.V.
Valhalla

Donut walks up to Simmons.

Simmons: Donut! Where have you been?

Donut: Just seeing if the guys at Blue Base had anything valuable to move out. You know, before you burn it to the ground. Caboose asked me to housesit.

Simmons: Did they have anything valuable?

Donut: Well, I'm not gonna tell you! You'll just find it and burn it.

Simmons: Yeah, that's true. But tell me anyway.

Donut: Nah, there's not much over there. Just some spare parts from (L/N) and Caboose's "build-a-new-best-friend" project... and it looks like they took that A.I. unit with them.

Simmons: So dumb... wait, what? A.I. unit?

Donut: Yeah! It was kind of cool. It was purple and liked to hear old stories about-

Simmons: What? They kept that!? They weren't supposed to keep that! I thought they turned it in! That was part of the deal for getting our bases! We had to turn over all equipment!

Donut: You're talking to me about things that don't really make any sense. I've been kind of gone. I don't know if you noticed.

Simmons: I need to tell Sarge and have him get it back from those idiots...

Simmons attempts to call Sarge on the radio.

Simmons: Sarge, come in. Sarge. Sarge, do you read?

Nothing but static.

Simmons: Ah, dammit. Hey Lopez!

Lopez: Sí? (Yes?)

Simmons: Is the radio busted?

Lopez: Radio rota. Cómo es que nadie nunca quiere hablarme sobre otras cosas? (Busted radio. How come no one ever wants to talk to me about anything else?)

Simmons: The radio! No work? Call Sarge-o. Yes or no?

Lopez: Hablas Inglés peor que yo. Sí. Radio. Buena. Asno. Chíngate. (You speak English worse than I do. Yes. Radio. Good. Ass. Up yours.)

Simmons: Then, how come I can't get Sarge?

Lopez: Tal ves su radio esta rota, Einstein. (Maybe their radio is busted, Einstein.)

Simmons: Can you fix it?

Lopez: Puedo arreglar su radio desde aquí? Sí. Porque soy mágico. Yo soy un robot mágico.(Can I fix their radio, from here? Sure. Because I am magic. I am a magical robot.)

Simmons: How come, in all these years of working with us, you haven't managed to learn one single word of English?

Lopez: No lo sé. Probablemente intentando evitar conversaciones como ésta. (I don't know. Probably trying to avoid conversations like this.)

Sandtrap

Brown/White: Now I'm sure you've heard about the treaties between aliens and people. We're here to investigate an energy reading. Rules are now, if they find one of these things, all investigation teams have to have at least one person and one alien. No exceptions.

Sarge: What kind of energy reading?

Brown/White: I can't tell you that. In fact, I need you to leave this area A.S.A.P. The alien diplomats will get mighty suspicious if they find another human squad showed up. We don't want to cause an intergalactic incident.

Caboose: Oh, we're used to doing that...

Sarge: Ooh, ah, what my friend means is that we're, um, used to following protocol.

Brown/White: Good! Then you guys just head on your way and we don't need to report this to anybody.

Grif: Dude, we're not going anywhere. Our jeep is wrecked.

The jeep behind them explodes.

(L/N): And I don't have the necessary items to fix it.

Brown/White: Damn. Okay, we'll help you repair your jeep, and then you're gone. Couple of rules while you're here. This is a restricted dig site. Everything here is property of the military. Do not go looking for any artifacts. And do not go anywhere without telling me. Got it?

Grif: Yes Mom, we got it.

Brown/White: Okay. Quick quiz, then. What are you gonna do if you find an artifact?

Caboose: Not take it.

Brown/White: No, that was a trick question. You're not going to find an artifact because you're not going to be looking for an artifact.

Caboose: Maybe I know it was a trick question... so I gave you a trick answer.

Brown/White: There are no trick answers, there are only wrong answers. Are we clear?

Grif: Yes.

Brown/White: Are. We. Clear?

Sarge, Grif, (L/N), Caboose: Yes!

Brown/White: Okay. Then head down there. On the left, you'll find some wrecked jeeps you can scavenge for parts. There's also water down there on the left, too. Keep yourselves hydrated. You want some chow? It's with the water on the left.

(L/N): Who eats chow in the middle of the desert?

Brown/White: Hey, do you want to eat or not?

(L/N): I'm just asking, maybe you could eat something else, perhaps call your Command for different food, y-know?

Brown/White: And perhaps you should hurry up and get your car fixed. You guys are lucky we're letting you stay here and use some of our junk to fix your car.

Sarge: Thanks. And we'll be leaving as soon as we can.

Brown/White: Yes, you will.

You, Sarge, Grif, and Caboose start heading to where you were told to go.

Grif: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Sarge?

Sarge: Yeah. Something just doesn't seem right.

(L/N): Seriously, who eats chow in the desert?!

Caboose: Everything is on the left too.

Grif: Shut up, both of you.

(L/N): Hey, we could have a repeat of what happened on Blood Gulch.

Grif: You got fucking lucky! All of Red Team was sleeping the moment you took our flag.

(L/N): Which brings me to my next question, who sleeps in top of their base in the middle of a hot canyon?

As soon as the four of you are out of hearing range of the man in brown and white armor and the purple-armored alien, it began to speak up.

Smith: Rghg?

Brown/White: No, I don't think they know anything. You get back to the temple. Keep working on getting it open. I'll take care of these idiots.

Behind the ruins are several dead aliens and soldiers of the first expeditionary dig team.

(A/N)
And that is the end of Chapter 10. Feedback is appreciated and noted.