DreamCity

Part 9

June 1

Derek and I played phone tag and finally caught up with one another.  We made plans to have dinner on Thursday.  For some reason he wants to see Anita too.  He obviously didn't believe me when I told him what a shrew she could be.

Quentin came by and invited me to go to a co-worker's house for a cookout.  Q is sweet...he always looks out for me.   He lives on the fourth floor.  He's a non-pro though.  Meaning, he's not in the entertainment industry at all.  He works at a software company.  Yawn.  To be as fine as he is, you would never think he's like some geek freak stuck in front of a computer all day doing programming.

I thought his friends would be fellow geeks, but that goes to show you what I know.  They were all pretty cool, gainfully employed.  I seemed to be the odd one out because I was "artistic."  They were all upwardly mobile young men on the fast track to big mortgages and two cars. 

His friend Kevin made some mean barbecue chicken and ribs.  Did I look tacky or what going up for three servings?  But hey...I won't see them again so I really didn't care what they thought. 

Q was cool.  He listened to me whine on the drive to the Valley, which was far and hot.  All the way there and all the way back, I talked about Collin and my lack of an agent.

I don't know why I never wanted to date Q.  Lack of chemistry?  Q's a nice guy, which probably sounds like the kiss of death to most men, but he feels like a brother or a cousin. I'm sure he feels like I'm that can't-get-it-together little sister.

Also, and I know this really sounds shallow, but...Q's not in the business.  And if you're not in the biz, then there's no way you could understand the extent of the job.  The things we go through and have to do just to maintain status quo.  Deals are made at parties and you have to be able to schmooze and the last thing you need is some jealous s.o. (significant other) giving you drama about going out so much.

I dated this accountant once and he was so not into it.  This was when I was living in New York and I actually had a social life.  I was tied into the scene, so there was always some party or some play to attend.  All flash and no substance was how he put it.  He'd rather spend romantic evenings in front of a fireplace with flutes of wine.  Me too.  Once my career takes off.  He couldn't understand and I vowed never again.  Too much hassle.

I'm not trying to date any actors either.  I once dated this guy and we were spending so much time together, I thought it was because he was really into me.  Turned out he had been evicted.  Good ol' Jason.  He was a lot of fun though.  We would go to the toy store and play for hours or we would have water balloon fights in the rain...it was like when we were together, we were kids.  We acted silly and goofy and I loved every minute of it.  His career came first and when an opportunity came along, he took it.  He toured with some play.  We used to keep in touch, but it just fizzled out after awhile.

Until we make it as actors, we are always broke and when in a relationship, at least one person has to pull in a steady paycheck.  Somebody's got to pay the bills...

It's double edged, though, cause only another actor will understand what I'm going through out here.

Still haven't heard from Collin.  Did he just hit it and run?  Should I call him?  If I do, will he think I'm checking up on him or that I'm crowding him?  I just wish I knew what was going on in his head.  I wish I had a life so I didn't have to care so much.

June 2

Cynda invited me to go hear her perform.  She's my upstairs neighbor on the third floor.  She's mad cool.  She's a singer and she does this funky type of blues/hip hop.  She was retro before retro came back in style.  Her father used to be this sax player back in the day and he played with bands that rivaled Basie and Ellington like Andy Kirk, Harlan Leonard and Jimmie Lunceford.  Cynda's got this low, whiskey-soaked voice that strokes every syllable.  She makes even the most common phrases sound seductive.  How can I put it?  Her music is just arresting.  I saw her perform at the House of Blues once as an opening act and for those who got her vibe, they were blown away.  Not everyone gets it though.  Which is unfortunate.  She's still struggling, although not as hard as I am.  At least she gets work consistently as a studio singer.  She did back-up for some famous folks, so she's got a little cash in her pocket.  Unlike me.

I heard her and her boyfriend fighting the other night.  The walls here are like fabric.  I can hear someone sneeze two floors up.  Rick can be cool, but he has issues.  He's a bass player and when he's straight, he's an excellent bass player.  The rest of the time?  He needs to hit a 12-step program like yesterday.

I still haven't heard from Collin.  I'm starting to wonder if I imagined the whole thing.  Maybe all of the chemistry was just in my head, I don't know.  Did I just get played?  I would say forget him and just concentrate on my career, but I don't have a career.  Which brings me to my audition.  It didn't feel as though it went well.  My reading was just off.  I always get all twisted over a cold reading.  We'll see.

Anita's coming in tonight.  Thank God she's only staying until Friday morning.  There was a time when we got along...the nine-months when she was in-utero and the idea of a sister sounded fun. 

June 4

Those were the longest two days of my life!  I thought she would never leave.  Fortunately she had meetings and stuff to go to during the day, but at night...I thought she was going to talk my head off.  Oh, and of course, nothing suited her.  The water in the shower didn't stay hot long enough, the bathroom was too small, my futon mattress was too hard, she hated Maddie and the list went on and on and on!  I started to tell her, "Heifer, go to a hotel if you want comfort.  You're staying here for free so be happy."  I held my tongue though.  I really am trying to make the effort to be friends.  It would be the mature, older sister type of thing to do.

I don't know, sometimes it really saddens me because we aren't close.  I mean, I look at Kandi and her sister and they're like two peas in a pod.  They take vacations together, they hang out together, and they're just so tight.  Anita and I?  It's like there's this invisible wall between us.  We can see each other, but we can't hear each other, much less understand each other.  So everything is always misconstrued.  I made the innocent remark that she should try Weight Watchers to help out with her little problem and she totally snapped my head off. 

"Not everyone is as stick thin as you are, Adrienne," she says. 

She knows I want to be called Adrianna and she insists on calling me Adrienne.  I have a migraine from her visit.  I'm doing back flips now that she's gone; I'm so ecstatic.  I bet you the minute I become famous, she'll be the first one trying to write a tell-all book about me or sell some compromising photos of me to one of the tabloids.  Watch.

Dinner with Derek was cool.  That was the only saving grace of her visit.  We went to El Coyote.  I thought it was pretty good, but of course Anita mentioned she'd had better.  It was crowded.  Derek was late (as usual) in picking us up.  I love my cousin though.  He is just the total big brother I never had.  We always tease one another about stuff.  I had to get on him about being such a workaholic.  I never see him because he's always on the job.  Over dinner, he told us about this girl he's dating.  He really likes her, and she's moving in next week.  Of course, I wanted to know everything about her.  Men can be so silly sometimes about women and I want to protect him from any scavengers.  She's quite a bit younger than he is...only 24, and he's 33.  He met her at his accountant's office, where she was some type of assistant.  She's from L.A. and everything after that is a blank slate.  Sounds to me like she gave up the cookie and his head is just spinning.  Looks like I need to learn a few tricks from her.

Well, at least it's good to see someone who's happy in love, lust, whatever we're calling it.  Derek assured me that my time was coming.  I wanted to tell him about Collin and get his opinion, but Anita was there and telling her would guarantee it getting back to headquarters, especially after she made this remark about me "needing to get my life together before I try and get involved with someone."  How many different ways can I say fuck her?  I wish I were bilingual.

Enough about her. This afternoon, I received two surprises. I got a bouquet of a dozen red roses from Collin. (At least I hope it's from him.)  The card said, "Missing you terribly.  Meet me at Chaya at 8 p.m. tonight."  It wasn't signed.  It better be Collin, especially since I haven't heard from him in awhile.

I put the roses on my little kitchen table that sits right underneath the bay windows.  They definitely brighten the place up.   Q also left me a little teddy bear on my doorstep.  It had a note and a lollipop attached to it.  The note said to cheer up, because things can only get better.  How sweet! Oh well, gotta run and meet my mystery man.