DreamCity

Part 17

August 11

Rehearsals are grueling, but good.  There's a lot of material to cover and since I'm the lead, the bulk of it falls on my shoulders.  Life has been a blur of routine lately.  I go to rehearsals, out on auditions and then at night, I head to the gym.  I'm trying to drop 10 pounds before opening night.  So I quit eating my ice cream, the cookies and cake.  For real this time.  I'm drinking more water, eating raw vegetables and doing 45 minutes on the treadmill every day.  I am so grumpy without any chocolate.

On to better subjects though...Simon called me.  He invited me to a screening of a film.  I was kind of surprised, let's say floored even.  I accepted.  He's got this directness about him that I can only imagine comes from a feeling of entitlement.  The screening is next Wednesday at Sony Studios in Culver City.  Since he's coming from Beverly Hills, we agreed to meet at the studio.  I don't know, is this like a date?  When he asked me to go, he just said that it was something he thought I might like.  We'll see.

Kandi goes under the knife on Monday.  She wants to take a Tae-Bo class this evening.  I don't know if I can, Billy Blanks is no joke.  I can't keep up with him.  I'll try it anyway though.  What's the worst that can happen?  I pass out from exhaustion?

August 12

I survived Tae-Bo (just barely) and was able to get up and go to rehearsal without any major body parts failing.  Then I went to lunch with Det. Ransom.  He's a lot younger than what I had expected.  He looks like he's about 32 or 33.  I met him down at the police station and we had lunch there.  We walked to a nearby mall and ate in the food court.  He filled me in on the details they had amassed so far.  Ronnie's boyfriend has a rap sheet longer than his arm.  He's been in and out of trouble since he could walk.  Ransom thinks the boyfriend could have been jealous over Ronnie's relationship with Derek.  He also had reports come in that Ronnie was pregnant and she would have been too far along for it to be Derek's.  So maybe she did set him up.  The hurt is still so raw, I want to aim it at someone and let them suffocate in it, because this didn't have to happen.  If he hadn't met her, he would still be alive. 

Until they find the boyfriend, there's not much else they can do.  They want to bring him in for questioning. 

Our lunch was awkward.  We both had burgers.  We sat in plastic chairs, amidst civilians and cops on their lunch hour.  Ransom looked like a good guy.  I could see the passion he had for his job in his whole body.  I knew that he would do what he could to close this case.  During the silent pauses that happen between strangers, I told him about myself.  He said he would like to see me in the play.  His wife loved the theater and would get a kick out it if she knew he knew one of the actresses.  I promised to put him on my guest list for opening night.

I went home after lunch and I went straight to bed.  Maddie let me snuggle with her.  Listening to her steady, constant purr helped to keep away the bogeyman in my head.  I felt like if I couldn't do anything else, then at least I could hold onto this moment of comfort.

August 13

All of the cast and crew went out for pizza after rehearsal today.  Everyone is really nice, surprisingly, there are no divas on the show.  Everyone is professional and down to earth.  I found out my episode on Ally McBeal is going to run September 20.  I called everyone I knew and told them to mark it on their calendars.  I spoke to Anita and she sounded kind of down about her job situation.  The offers from other companies weren't coming in as quickly as she thought they would.  She's getting antsy just sitting around doing nothing.

"I don't know how you do it," she told me.

I was in such a good mood, I just ignored her little dig and sweetly told her about my new workout regime and asked about her battle of the bulge.  Needless to say, we hung up shortly afterward.  I know we're too old to be acting like this.  I guess when one of us has kids, we'll have to mature, until then it's still a war.

Next week is shaping up to be pretty busy.  I have three auditions to go out on, the screening with Simon, and I'm meeting with a manager.  I know what Simon said, but I really think now that things are starting to heat up for me, a manager can only be an asset.  They can take me to that next level.  I need to start going to more premieres, the right people need to see my face out there. 

The manager I'm meeting with is Tyler Richards, he's young, somewhat new to the game, but he's making moves.  He works at his mom's management company, she's an old school manager and has had her hands on many of the big talent that's out there now.  I'm excited, he seemed really interested to meet me.

I got my invite to the indie screening and invited him to check it out on Thursday.  We're going to meet the day after.

I'm so excited and so anxious about things, I'm having trouble sleeping at night.  I find myself pacing around at 3 in the morning.  Sometimes I just read, or I'll practice my monologue.  Maddie loves it.  Since she's nocturnal, she thinks I'm up solely to entertain her.  She's so huge now.  It's weird, I can't imagine my life without her.  To be such a small creature, she's made such a large impact.  I'm looking at her sleeping on my lap as I write in my journal.  She's so content, like she knows I'm going to take care of her no matter what.  It's nice to know that someone/something has that much faith in you. 

August 18

Just got back in from the screening with Simon.  It was a pretty cool flick.  It ran the festival circuit and was picked up by Sony.  It was about an exploration to the Grand Canyon.  I guess the mission of an independent film is to be weird.  The quirkier they are the more the hype they receive.   Afterwards we went out to dinner.  We went to this little Caribbean place not too far from the studios called Bamboo, on Venice.  It was unassuming, the food was good, especially the corn chowder.

Our conversation circled around jury duty, the industry, politics and the challenges of being a black actress.  Simon had an opinion on everything.  Not just a half-assed-talking-to-be-talking opinion either.  He was so well versed, he was able to make a solid argument for every opinion.  I really enjoyed our conversation.  When we left dinner, while waiting for the valet to bring our cars, I was surprised when he kissed me good night.  Pleasantly surprised.  The kiss was soft and so tender it just took my breath away.   His goatee tickled my chin.  When he pulled back, I was momentarily speechless.  I felt like Joey from that TV show Blossom.  All I could say was "whoa."  The valet brought my car first.  We didn't speak about the kiss, he just said I'll call you soon and then disappeared into his car which was behind mine.

Of course I went home and totally freaked out.  Him being white doesn't bother me as much as the difference in our economic levels.  I was checking out his watch and it had to cost at least $15,000.  The things he's done and the places he's been, how could I ever compete with that?

That kiss sure was something though.