DreamCity

Part 20

September 7

I was going to say that today was just like any other day, but I didn't even wake up at home, I woke up in a Vegas hotel suite with Simon.  These past few days have been crazy as hell.  I don't even know where to start. 

Cynda overdosed tonight on heroin.  She's OK, but she's in the hospital.

September 8

Once again, I feel like I'm just being swept away by this undertow and it's all I can do just to keep my head above water.  Let's start with Cynda. She gets out of the hospital today.  Am I just so self-involved that I can't see things for what they are?  Even Q looked at me like I was stupid when I said I had no idea she was using. 

I had a long conversation with Rick last night.  While he readily admitted he wasn't a saint and had a drug problem, he also said that Cynda had a problem long before she met him.  He said she was a functioning addict, but it just got out of hand Saturday night.  I'm so mad at her right now, I don't think I want to see her when she comes home this afternoon.  How could she do this to herself?  To her friends?  I came home and saw the paramedics carrying her out on a stretcher.  She had an oxygen mask to her face and I was like, "What the hell is going on?"

Too tired to write any more.  Need sleep.

September 9

Our run of the play has been sold out almost every night.  That's definitely a boost to my ego...

Simon called me.  He seemed to be OK with the fact that nothing happened when I spent the night over there on Monday.  I just wasn't ready.  We had a wonderful day though.  He has his pilot's license and owns a plane.  It's a Piper something or other.  We flew into Vegas Monday afternoon and had the best time.  We checked into the MGM Grand and then hit the streets.  We went to all of the casinos, gambled, caught the Cirque du Soleil show and went out to eat. 

It was truly one of those spontaneous things and I'm so glad we did it.  He asked me if I wanted to take a flight with him and I said, "Sure, why not?"  I've never been up in a small plane; I've done the commuter thing, but nothing like his plane, which seats four.  So we get to Vegas and we're having such a great time, we decided to just stay the night.  I bought some toiletries and a change of clothes.  Thank goodness my Visa went through or else I would have been really embarrassed.  He offered to pay for it, but I didn't want him to think I couldn't do it myself.   I have too much damn pride to be so damn broke.

Vegas is an insomniac's dream.  We didn't crawl into the hotel until almost 4 in the morning.  I was so beat that I went directly to my suite...we had adjoining rooms...and went to bed.  If he had anything else in mind, he didn't act like it the next morning.

September 13

I don't know why I've been so bad about writing.  Just distracted by life, I guess.  Last night the play closed.  I feel like my life is going to be somewhat empty without having to perform four nights and two matinees a week.  We had a really mellow cast party at the director's house.  He has a place in Manhattan Beach.  Well, I should say they, he and his girlfriend. She's an investment banker, so technically, it's her house ('cause I don't know how much money he's making off these plays). 

I've successfully avoided Cynda for the past few days.  She's called a few times but I just can't seem to call her back.  Not sure what to say...it's stupid, I know, but I feel betrayed...angry...scared.  We're supposed to be good friends and she couldn't share this with me.  It's almost like I never really knew her at all.  Q thinks I'm being selfish (yes, he actually said that) and I should talk to her.  He brought up the very good point that she probably needs a few friends right now.  I don't know if this whole episode will affect her record deal. I want to fix her and I know I can't.  Where does that leave us?