Book Of Randomness [COMPLETED]

9th Random Page

Hey my sweet chocolates! So... something happened. I'm not really in the best of mood to give some random pics so I'm just here to tell you, my candies, how I feel. Even if this is family mattered, I don't care anymore! What's the point in hiding it? If even She, hides me!

So... for you not to be confused with the story I'm about to share, I'll be giving you my background:

I have been living for 8 years just with my dad and grandmother. My mom left when I was little and all I can remember is my mom and dad fighting and me almost taken with my mom.

So on with that, last 2014 she visited me for a day at my grandma's house because my grandma is old and alone, we look after her so we live with her.

She shows up in our house. Me? Of course I was shock. She left me, I know that she tried to contact me and that she gives me allowance every month and that my father doesn't like me to talk to her but I know there's a reason behind it.

So she was there. She gave me clothes my IPad, phone for me and my dad, laptop, and bags. I thank her for that but, I didn't ask for it. I ask for one thing when I was younger. But that one thing is something she can't give.

Soon she left. After that my dad was sad. He might think I can't notice but I do. I sometimes was awaken by their fights over the telephones and the next morning I know something is sad inside him.

This year, summer, she asked me to go to her mom's house. I went there and there she is. Standing there, waiting for me to go closer for her to hug me. She told me she was staying for 1 month this time. I can see the sadness in my dad's face.

In those days, a cycle happened. Every morning my mom and dad would act like they have more problems and every night, thinking that I'm asleep, they would fight.

I know what's happening. I may look like I don't give a damn about this world but I actually do! I know every single detail about our little fucking broken family!

Why haven't I spoken up? Cause it's better that way! Them thinking I'm a five-year-old kid than being broken about this hell of a so-called-family!

She walks in my life like nothing is wrong. Like she didn't do anything wrong! And what did she do? She question my love for anime. She wants me to love volleyball even if she know I love swimming. She compares me to the daughter of her cousin of how slim, how she don't have pimples, how she can commute by her own, how beautiful her hair is, how she works around the house, to make this story short, how she is a lot better than me!

Well then, news flash mom! I am not her! If you badly want me to be like her then why not adopt her and leave me in peace?! I was ok when you were not here! My dad was ok! He wasn't heart broken and now... he spend 2 days drinking.

You wanted to know me well? Well here, this is me!

I'm a 7th grader who doesn't know how to handle social anxiety!

I spent 8 fucking years explaining to teachers why you're not here!

I am a damn self-centered kid because I'm afraid of breaking down walls and being left alone again and I'm scared that all the friends I made might leave me!

I fucking love anime because if I don't have it I might as well be like those other kids whose parents are broken and are now spending their time on drugs!

I may have lots of friends to keep me up but it is never the same.

I may have lots of aunts that I called "mama" but it's still not the same.

Now all I have is my hidden emotions. The emotion I can only fully show is happiness. I can never show the rest.

You never see me cry. No one have ever see me cry. I always stood strong. When my friends are sad they ran to me. And now. No one ask me. No one ask if I'm sad. Even if inside, I'm already broken.

Dad asked only one thing. Just for you to change your profile pic to the 3 of us. Yet, you gave a lot of excuses. You told how weak and desperate my dad is. Now he cries. He cries because of you. It was better if you just stayed there. Away from us.

Hooooo! That was something... it was nice to share my emotions every once in a while. Just to tell you this isn't one of my crappy stories, this is real. It really happened. She just got back to Dubai last July 10. And yes, my dad's crying at night.

Well, everyone says that to ease your pain you need to share it to someone, right? So what better way to do it than to share it to you may lovely cakes! I got to share my feelings and got something to right in this book.

Quickie: I need to hold Fall For Him because school is starting in a few weeks. I will give a special chapter to When the Bad Boy meets The Play Girl when I get the chance(even if it's school day). I will continue this every Friday because I love my sweet watermelons (yes, it's you). Although my internet connection is bad so just wait for a moment my little cornnuts (yup, you again)

In case you're wondering why I am like cheerful to this author note is because like I said, I mask my true emotions with a smile^¡^(although, I'm happy now bc of you)... I love you my sweet coconut(yizz, it's you)!