One year before.
Morning came faster than it needed to. But my mind was still swirling and if you haven't lost someone so close to you that after they are gone, their name coming out of your mouth for the first time in months feels like it's happening all over again, you would not understand. My dreams and memory are clouded with it happening, replaying over and over as if they were a broken record. I needed to clear my head.
So as soon as I was dressed-in my shorts and loose tee-shirt, and my laces tied-I was put the door without a second thought, returning back to my old getaways. The run started as soon as my feet stepped off the last step of the three story flights.
Three hours later, my legs were burning, my feet ached, and I was struggling to catch my breath. I had been on track in high school, four years. I knew how to control my breathing and when to slow and when to speed, but I had pushed myself too far this time. I knew I could not make the run back, it was too far and would take me twice as long.
"Ben." I panted into the speaker.
"Harry, what's up? where are you? I heard you leave this morning,"
"I, uh, went for a run. I need you to pick me up."
"Hard day?"
"Something like that, come on I need something to drink, too, so make it quick." I give him the information on where in town I am.
Ben shows promptly. By now I'm sick of my swear soaked shirt and I'm ready to through it off.
"Damn, man, you ran almost six miles," he speeds down the road, throwing me a water bottle in the process.
"Yeah, I needed to clear my head."
"Figured. You really need to talk to somebody, man."
"I don't need to-"
"No, listen to me Haz. I'm only saying this because your like my brother: your need to talk to somebody. It's only getting worse and you know it. You need to let go. I can't watch you go in this downward spiral any longer."
"I'm not talking to anyone." The car pulls into the lot. I couldn't wait to sustain a cold shower. Getting out of the car was hard on my thighs, but they would feel better tomorrow.
"I'm not done talking to you about this. I have a say in your heath too, Harry. Gem would want you to get it all out; to let go. You know she would. I want you to talk with Grace, rules from the other day applying. She's going to major in psychology after her off year."
"Whatever. I need to be alone right now." I ran up the steps and into the flat apace to get to the shower as quickly as possible.
"Harry you can't keep running away from your problems," I hear Ben yell after me as I slammed the door of my room.
+
The cold water relaxed my muscles. My legs were little stif, but thankfully they didn't ache too bad. I hadn't ran like that in a while. I really need to get back in shape, not that I wasn't already. I was a tall, lanky, awkwardly clumsy, and somewhat fit. But, I needed to start running again; not only to clear my head.
It was almost time for my shift at The Blue Room before I could comprehend; meaning it was Saturday and the town was buzzing.
I presumed Ben was gone with his girl or out with friends getting high or some shit, and Grace was-well who the hell knows? I'm not her chaperone.
Black pants, black shirt, black shoes: The Blue Room uniform. I didn't understand it much, only to the fact that it just looked good under all the blue lights.
