I Choose You

12. A Knife To The Heart & A Stab To The Back (Edited)

Edited 

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at myself. The reflection that stared back at me was one I didn't recognize. Curled, butterscotch hair rested on my shoulders, bouncing in ringlets as I turned my head to the side, backing up and previewing my outfit. I was styled in an elegant, off-the-shoulder, navy top with large floral patterning, along with a white pair of skinny jeans, and black flats.

"Yes!" Autumn squealed, clapping her hands together. "I'm so proud of you, Emery! You finally decided to dress cute for once!"

I backed up, still staring at myself. I don't know what came over me this morning when I woke up, but for some reason I was feeling extra confident, something that I haven't felt in a very long time. So, this morning, when I opened my closet to try and grab the usual, there was this voice in the back of my mind. This voice that kept telling me to shift my hands farther and farther to the right, farther and farther into the untouched section of my closet.

So, I listened to it.

"I don't know," I whispered, "I just—something was telling me to pick a cute outfit today," I shrugged my shoulders, "so I did."

"You mean that voice in the back of your head that knows Evan's going to have a complete heart attack at this newfound change?" she smiled as she touched up her makeup.

The lunch bell was going to ring in a few minutes, so Autumn and I were hanging out in the bathroom, since I just couldn't stop staring at myself and wondering what the heck had come over me. I mean yes, I wanted to impress Evan, but if that was the case why hadn't I done this earlier? Why the heck did I gain some confidence now?

I couldn't help but smile a little as I looked at myself one last time in the mirror. "Maybe,"

Autumn just smiled at me, before the both of us walked out of the bathroom, radiating with confidence. In fact, as she and I walked down the hallway, it was like I was in a totally different environment. Whereas before, everyone had always walked right past me, acting like I didn't exist or like they didn't know me, now, everything was so much different.

Eyes. I felt them on me everywhere. Guys I knew, guys I didn't, even guys who had girlfriends all seemed to perk up at the sight of me. It was like a whole new world. Like when a prey first realizes that the predator is seeking it out. Or when Nemo left the vastness of the ocean for the first time, only to enter the real world. You don't realize how big it is until you've left your safety net. Until you're no longer in your comfort zone.

Autumn grinned as we passed a group of boys whose eyes lingered on the both us for a few seconds too long.

"They totally just checked us out," she whispered.

Whereas Autumn was thrilled by this notion, I, on the other hand, wasn't so much. The one person I wanted to see me was nowhere to be found, and the ones I didn't have a care for were everywhere to be found. Autumn and I walked towards the lunchroom, stopping as the hall got congested near the entrance. A group of guys walked past the both of us, the tallest of the heard stopping for a moment.

He nodded his head at me, his jet—black hair flopping up and down, and I didn't miss the twinkle in his eyes. I had seen boys look at Autumn like that all the time. "Hey, Emery,"

Who the heck was that?

I turned to Autumn, eyebrows raised, brows wrinkled, and the look of complete confusion written across my face. Was this what it's like to be Autumn for a day?