I Choose You

24. It's Always Him (Edited)

Edited 

Every waking minute that I spent with Aiden the next few days was hard. I kept trying to act normal. Like everything was completely okay, but every time I looked at him Landon's words kept ringing in my ears. And no matter how much I tried to convince myself that he had been lying, my brain was convincing me otherwise.

While normally my relationship with Aiden was filled with playful banter and light—hearted jokes, the past few days just weren't the same. He tried to pull jokes and pranks on me, and as much as I tried to play along, I knew Aiden could tell that something was off with me. I think he was waiting for me to tell him what was going on, but I was just so scared. What if, when I ask Aiden about what Landon told me, his answer is exactly what my brain is telling me? That he really did get that girl pregnant. And if it's not, how could he ever forgive me for believing something Landon Cross told me? How could he ever forgive me for not believing in him? For not trusting in the boy that I know, deep down, is so good and pure hearted? How could he ever forgive me if I asked him something like that?

But on our way home from school, as Aiden pulled into my driveway to drop me off, rather than both of us getting out of the car, we sat there, idle in the driveway, no one moving. I couldn't bring myself to get out.

Aiden turned to look at me and I could see a glint of anger in his eyes. For a moment, it felt like Aiden knew what I was going to ask him, but how he knew, I had no idea.

"What is it, Emery? I know you've been wanting to ask me something for the past few days."

The moment he called me Emery, I knew Aiden wasn't messing around. I knew he wasn't being playful, or expecting this to be some kind of joke, because he almost never called me by my full name.

I opened my mouth, and before I could stop myself the words just tumbled out. "Landon told me—" and as those words came out of my mouth I saw Aiden's face fall, before it was replaced with an anger I'd never seen before, not even when I had forgiven Evan. I saw his eyes screw shut and his lips tighten. The knuckles of his hand whitened as he gripped the shifter like his life depended on it, his jaw visibly locked, and his chest heaved up and down as if he might burst any second.

"Get out of the car." he growled, his voice so quiet, so low, so... intense, it frightened me.

I didn't bother refusing, I knew talking right now wouldn't be good for either of us, so I simply obliged, getting out of the car without a word. Aiden sat in there for a second, his hands on the steering wheel, and even from outside, with the windows tinted I could tell he was fuming. I could tell he was trying to control his anger. I had seen him like this before. I had seen his anger come roaring out of him. And although it didn't happen often, when it did, sometimes it could be terrifying.

I watched as Aiden climbed out of the car slowly, slamming the door shut, and placing his hands apart, fingers spread, carefully on the top of the car, as if he was afraid that he might do something. Was he afraid he was going to hurt me? Is that what it was? I felt my heart drop in my chest. Aiden would never hurt me, not even in his worst moments.

Aiden's head was bowed low, looking down at his feet as his shoulders heaved up and down. Even without seeing his face I could tell he was trying to calm himself down, so I didn't say anything, afraid that if I did I might ignite a fire in him that I wouldn't be able to put out.

Finally, he lifted his head, standing with a rigid posture. His shoulders were back and squared, and his jaw was locked so tightly you could see the veins in his arm starting to bulge.

He sucked in a deep breath. "What—did he say to you?"

I chose my words carefully, knowing that one wrong word might ignite the bomb that was waiting to explode inside him. "He said—" I couldn't believe I was about to say this out loud. I couldn't believe a part of me actually believed what Landon had told me.

"He said that you and Evan—that you both were with the same girl—" I bit the inside of my cheek, numbing myself from the pain I knew I was going to feel as the next words came out of my mouth. "He said that one of you got her pregnant." I found myself whispering, trying to swallow my fear.

All I felt was the breeze. The bone cold, chilling breeze as the blood pumped through my veins and the sound of my heart pounding echoed in my ears. But still, I stood, refusing to move an inch. I needed to know the truth. I needed to quell this aching, burning feeling inside me that kept telling me Aiden was the one who got this girl pregnant.

And as that thought entered my mind again, I felt nothing but shame.

"You think it was me, don't you?"

I looked at him.

The care—free attitude that Aiden almost always sported was gone, replaced with a pained expression. He furrowed his eyebrows, gritting his teeth together, and looked at me with such malice in his eyes, I felt my heart crack. I felt it split, tear, rip right in half as if it had been made from nothing but paper.

I looked at Aiden, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"You've already made up your fucking mind, haven't you?!" he spat from across the car.

"Aiden—!"

"Goddamn it Emery!" he yelled. "It doesn't matter how many fucking times I try to prove to you who I really am—or how many times I rescue you—or hold you in my fucking arms when that asshole breaks your heart—!"

"Aiden please—!"

"You'll choose him every fucking time, won't you – without even thinking twice about it!"

There were no words to describe the pain I felt at that moment. The hurt and heartbreak, like a ton of bricks slamming me in the chest. Like a dead weight being dropped on me over and over every time Aiden spoke. But it was nothing more than I deserved. It was nothing more than I deserved for believing Landon Cross.

All I could do was stare at Aiden, feeling the tears pool in my eyes, and the words I wanted to say get caught in my throat as I opened my mouth. But he didn't even wait to hear what I had to say. He just looked at me, jawline taut, eyes narrowed, and the look of betrayal written all over his face, before he slammed the car door shut and sped out of my neighborhood, leaving nothing but a trail of devastation in his wake. 

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Thank you so much to @AmansRose for the lovely cover displayed above! 

- Katy