Dream's Intuition

Chapter 12 - Moving On

Chapter 12

            Earlier in the day I had agreed to meet Rob for coffee, so after work I found myself wandering around the corner to meet him at this little Café.  It was quaint with baskets of flowers littered throughout the little patio full of small circular tables and cast iron chairs.  The patio was lined by gates the same colour as the chairs and tables.  It was all colour coordinated and one of the most unique places to be found in the heart of downtown.  It had a French bakery and all day you could smell the fresh bread baking in the ovens, and the pastry counter was lined with baguettes and soft puffy pastries to devour. 

            I ordered a coffee latte with a Danish and sat on the patio waiting for Robert to arrive.  He showed up about fifteen minutes later and hurried to join me, “so how was your day.”  He was short of breath and his words came out in pants.

“Good, good.  I’m feeling much better then I did a week ago, or a day ago actually, you?”
“I’m good, I was just still a little worried about you from the other night.”

“Don’t be, I’m a big girl!”

“yeah I know, but your apartment is just a little…creepy.  I don’t know, it still gives me the willies. “

“It was probably a gust of wind or something, you know I was all freaked about her so my mind was playing tricks on me, you said so yourself.”

“Yeah but the window wasn’t open either.”
“Well then the neighbours upstairs again.  It happens all the time, things are constantly being knocked down.”
“The pictures were all laying face down and then the way it was.”
“The glass broke when it fell off the wall, and the pictures were on a dresser and the others were on a ledge.  One could have fallen down and knocked the rest of them, and there you go domino effect, not to hard to get.”
“I don’t know, my skin still crawls thinking about that…”
“Well aren’t you a strong brave guy. Common let’s talk about something else, I’m finally Zen, can we keep it that way?”

So he changes the subject.  He runs his hand up through his hair and down the back of his neck as he talks to me.  He let’s his hair fall in his eyes and I remember the way he kissed me the other night.  I can feel my checks turning pink and then brightening into a red.  I bite down on my lip hard in order to distract my pre-occupied brain. 

“Can we talk about the other night?” As if he was reading my mind.

“I guess so,” my response is cold and monotone, as I attempt to hide my excitement. 

“I consider you to be a really good friend,” the starting off of every conversation that leads to “I don’t think we should see each other anymore” or “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”.  It was not as if I had expected anything to become of this, we were both in a moment of weakness, he had just broken up with his girlfriend and was unsure and I was in desperate need of a little male attention, a distraction from everything that was going on.  My thoughts poured from my lips without a communication from my brain to my mouth to do so. 

            Robert sat back in his chair stunned.  He slouched down and sat some time absorbing my statements.  “Wow!’  he finally exclaimed.

“Wow what?”

“Well that is not exactly what I was gonna lead off with but hey, if that’s the way you feel.”

My stomach knotted itself and doubled over, “wait, what were you going to say?”
“Well I was going to start off with saying that I consider you to be a really good friend, and I have considered you a really good friend for a while now.  And that as I get to know you more and more, I become more comfortable with you.  You have this great personality, and you smile, like you really smile and your face gets all wrinkled up and your nose gets squished up, but you smile and it is amazing. I love seeing that smile, it just makes me feel really good inside.  And I love how honest you are with me, and everything you do, as quirky and stupid as you can be sometimes, its you and you aren’t afraid to show yourself.  And when I met you, I was already with Stacey and I only met you through her so I thought it was wrong, and it is so wrong so I never did anything about it.  And now, well things are different, you guys aren’t friends anymore and I realized that I never really loved her. I was just with her because it was easy and there was nothing really wrong to not be with her…”

“…don’t even give me that, you cheated on her all the time…”

“…I didn’t, but think what you want, I don’t care.  What I wanted to say is that you’re a good friend, and I don’t want to lose a good friend, but I don’t just want to be your friend, I want something else, something more…” I didn’t let him finish, I wrapped my arms around the back of his head and pulled his lips to mine.  Logically this was not the best relationship to start up, and it was not the right time or the right anything, but perhaps those are the reasons that make it right.  There is an order in the universe and everything falls into line with a greater plan.  We have a little room to play with, but everyone has that thing. 

Kay moving away had given me the opportunity to get closer to Robert and to get over Jon.  My heart no longer ached but rather my body.  When our lips touched a surge of energy and emotion rushed over my body.  I pulled back realizing the inappropriate nature of my feelings in such a public setting.

“I don’t want to be just your friend either… if you can’t tell.  I just don’t want to be your girlfriend or anything labelled…just yet.  Let’s give this a little bit of time to waft, ok?”

He smiled back at me and shook his head in agreement.  He walked me home and we talk about everything as we normally did; the only difference was that I kissed him when we got to my place.