Collision (Zerrie)

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Over the past few days my mood had changed drastically. I woke up every day with a smile on my face, counting down the days until I get to kiss Zayn again. The sudden 180 my moods took did not go unnoticed by the girls and they all prodded me for an answer and once they received one from me, they were a bit reluctant. My three best friend were more than well aware of the rocky path Zayn and I's relationship had taken, but after convincing them that Zayn is not "a first class arse who needs to pick his balls up off the floor," -as Jade so kindly put it- I burst into a fit of laughter and after and assured them I will talk to my fiance as soon as he opens the door, they hesitantly agreed though I should be aware that if he says one wrong thing then "the only direction he'll be going is towards the gates of hell".

I, again, had simply let out a laugh with the shake of my head. Jade was something else. That unique quality she contained could be pointed out like a giant pimple just by watching the first two minutes of one of our interviews. She's always the one to crack a joke or two and laugh nearly half the time, though it's been fairly noticeable I have been adapting to that habit during interviews and signings more than my usual. I didn't realize how much Zayn's upcoming visit would effect me...and my ignorance.

I've been so caught up with the happiness radiating through my body that I had somehow completely let the fact that there is a naked photo shopped picture of me on the internet that almost all of the human population seem to believe is real. That was a huge mistake an unattended problems tend only to grow, and I'm afraid this one has only tripled in size. The girls and I just had and interview an hour ago and I was a bit shocked when the interviewer brought up the scandalous 'photograph' of me. It was the first time any interviewer had questioned me about it and it was like a slap in the face. I knew this was going to be a big deal, there was just a slight malfunction with my calculations. This mess seems to be way bigger than I thought, and I didn't know what to do.

The interviewer-Stacey, her name was- asked me if it was true Zayn had posted that picture of me and I told the truth; the picture was fake and he had nothing to do with it. She pulled up the screen shot of the photo on Zayn's twitter, but when I had checked it myself last week it was no where to be found. The fans are skilled in the field of photo editing, anyone of them could have easily edited that photo into a tweet. But that fan has done quite a lot of damage using those photo shopping skills and I don't know how to repair them. I can deny the picture all I want but some people just don't have ears made for perceiving the truth. All of this, I know, so I have come to a conclusion; I-to sum it up- am absolutely fucked, and not in the good way either.

It seems I am the target of everyone's conversation and not in a positive way. I haven't logged on twitter in two days because of the of nasty comments comments. I had ringed Simon again just this morning in a panic pleading for him to do something; anything! But he just apologized and told me with a sad tone that there was nothing he could do, but promised he'd figure out something soon enough. Though I'm not entirely sure 'soon' is fast enough, I have no other option. I can't control these people and the only thing in my power is the ability to tell these people-politely-to shut the fuck up about a god damn lie, and that is so frustrating.

Ever since the picture crawled back into my mind, it's all I think about besides my career and the days until I get to see Zayn-and, okay, occasionally Jeremy but only occasionally. Okay, that's a lie, I find myself thinking about my ex-boyfriend all the time without even realizing it. It's not his brown locks that keep me up at night, or his green eyes that remind me of the meadow in my back yard back in South shields; it's the memories that really get to me. I'd catch myself falling back into my life four years prior to today reminiscing what having a normal life was like. But mostly, I'd go back to the night where Jeremy and I had really said goodbye. It was two days before the audition and we were both up in his room just talking and all of the sudden he interrupted me with a kiss. I don't remember what I was saying, but it didn't really matter. We both got lost into the kiss and eventually each other. We didn't break eye contact during our time of passion and an 'I love you' was spoken every minute, though it wasn't necessary; actions do speak louder than words and our actions that night were screamed from the top of the London Eye. It was my first time as it was his and we didn't just have sex or a good shag, our bodies intertwined and we made love passionately late at night. I could feel so much love and passion that I actually started crying when we were both lying next to each other after we had both came and that was when we really said goodbye. He gazed deep into my eyes, wiped the tears from my cheeks, gave me a soft kiss on the lips and exited the door after dressing himself. He paused under the door frame and glanced back at me almost as if he wanted to say something, but I guess he changed his mind and cautiously walked out without another word. i don't think he noticed that I saw the tear sliding down his cheek.

I never went back to sleep that night, instead I layed there, bare and numb staring at the ceiling as tears rolled down my face. It's a night I haven't forgotten and I'm not convinced I ever will, but I wouldn't want to even if I had the option. I was in love with Jeremy and a small part of me always will be and he was my first time, but I have Zayn now and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. What Jeremy and I had is in the past tense and will always be that way.

That's why it's completely okay for me and Jeremy to still be in contact. Friendly contact, as friends. Nothing more.

"No way," I said in disbelief.

"I swear I'm not kidding, it happened," he told me through the receiver

"Jeremiah Winston there is no way in a million years you would ever go skinny dipping in a hotel pool in the middle of winter," I stated.

"No, I would never go skinny dipping in the middle of winter while sober. Under the influence of alcohol, however, is a different story," he said and I giggled. I still can not believe Jeremy would ever do such a thing. He used to wear a jacket when it was sixty-five degrees outside!

"And that is why I don't drink."

"I thought that was because you weren't old enough," he teased. I rolled my eyes. He's only five months older than me, yet he has teased me about it for as long as I can remember.

"I'm at the legal limit now," I reminded him.

"Back home you are, but you're in America now and the legal age is twenty-one there."

"I'm a celebrity, I could be fifteen and they'd serve me a shot no question."

"Are you speaking from experience Miss Edwards?"

"Not entirely," I answered.

"Well this is a story I'd love to hear."

"Actually I-"

"Perrie we've got to leave in five minutes!" jade shouted from the other room and I mentally thanked her.

"Well what do you know, I've got to go. Too bad I didn't get to tell you that story," I said sarcastically.

I could almost hear him roll his eyes on the other end. "Saved by the bell this time Perrie, but don't think I won't remember this next time we talk. I'd love to hear that story."

"Mhm, well I've got to get going, I'll talk to you again this week?" I asked.

"If you're schedule's not too hectic."

"I have a lot of interviews and signings but it's not too crazy," I assured him, and I felt that heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach return.

"Okay, we'll talk later this week then," he said. "Bye Pez."

"Bye Jeremy."

I had gotten ready an hour prior due to boredom, so I just had to wait for the girls to finish up. I looked in the mirror and wiped off some lipstick that had smudged and checked my mascara. I decided another application was needed so I stood up and took two steps in the direction towards my make-up bag, but turned around upon hearing my phone vibrating on the nightstand. Zayn's name flashed across the screen and I small graced my face.

"Hey," I greeted once I accepted the call.

"We need to talk," he said skipping the greetings and the smile immediately vanished from my face.